Quirkbag

Tag: Life

  • Our Wanting In Life

    Our Wanting In Life

    Quirkbag Collection #58 – 06.09.26

    “What do you really want out of life?” is a pretty scary question to stare at. Wanting things has become such a normal and large part of our lives that we begin to want things without knowing why. We just want. Sadly, the answer to this question is usually a blank face, followed by the perennially common answer – “money”. Are we really wanting the right things?

    Philosophy and stoicism give us some hope in navigating this question. I used to believe philosophy was a pretentious way of being educated. But stoicism, at least, provides some utilitarian comfort. One of stoicism’s lessons is that we should learn what to want based on whether it is the right thing to want. That’s wisdom. And some of us yearn sorely for it. 

    On Wanting Money

    It is hard to fault anyone for wanting to be rich. Afterall, we grew up slowly being brainwashed that money equals everything else we want in life. But that is not entirely true. Beneath the surface, money provides little non-material substance to life. The richest people are not the happiest, healthiest or most well-lived. They simply enjoy more luxuries and convenience than anyone else. 

    For some, wanting to be rich is a by-product of habitual sub-par life choices. Avoiding premium, higher-end items, services or experiences and going for the lowest cost, less than basic options gently primes the mind to want more money. Most of us grew up without learning to build a healthy relationship with money, and we are subtly influenced to see money the way our grandparents did – with a scarcity mindset, unfortunately. Times have changed.

    Growing up, most Singaporean families I know of adopted this approach, with the occasional exception. Of course, under dire circumstances, this makes sense. But through the lens of a life well-lived, scrimping over every last cent is not exactly the pointl. Or at least I doubt it should be. For most of us, we don’t actually know what we want, so we default to wanting more “money” – an enabler which we know having more of is a safe bet.

    Rather, what needs greater emphasis is that money is a means to an end, and not the end itself. In the end, we want to be rich because we want the security and ability to afford a certain lifestyle we find “ideal”. I would want money to create a life rich in texture. 

    The problem is, we kill ourselves trying to meet “ideal” and wind up emotionally and mentally enslaved by money, or the lack thereof. 

    On Wanting Wisdom 

    There’s a particularly gut-wrenching irony about wanting wisdom. The trade for wisdom is our cumulative experiences, painful and hard ones at that. Yet, it is the very thing which removes the burden of most common people. So logically, it seems that wanting wisdom means wanting more struggle. Strange, but true.

    Stoicism imparts that wisdom is knowing what is what and when to do what. It is judgement, discretion, but mixed with restraint. The presence of wisdom pays an invisible dividend – and it never ends, but instead grows with wisdom. 

    We observe this cliche in modern culture. Wisdom is always portrayed by some old Sensei with white hair, wearing a cloak older than time itself and having a disposition seemingly larger-than-life. Let this not confuse you to think that wisdom is reserved for old age. Wisdom is not a function of time, but a result of life. It just happens that it takes time as life unfolds. 

    Where does that leave us? Can we honestly obtain wisdom before we grow grey?

    Perhaps. “In the mild light of philosophy” is a phrase I picked up from Ryan Holiday’s book “Discipline Is Destiny” from the stoic series. It reminds me that philosophy is a reliable lens to use when considering our daily troubles, that what seems disastrous is merely disproportionately so even if it feels like the sky is falling. A first step in nurturing wisdom. 

    We may not obtain volumes of wisdom, but learning about others’ experiences and stories can go a long way. Choosing wisdom means a life of calm, restrained decision-making under your control and judgement, barring the opinions of others. More importantly, it leads us to find our own peace, with enough time. 

    On Wanting Happiness

    Everyone wants to be happy. By far the most popular wish made on birthdays, anniversaries, 11:11, 12:12(?), and other arbitrary moments, happiness is that elusive golden snitch. But can you define happiness? What does it really mean?

    Like money, happiness is the next most vague thing to want. It is a safe and politically correct thing to want. Indeed, how else would we want to live our life? Miserably? Undoubtedly, the debate of whether money brings happiness rages on. (We secretly know that money only gives security but stops short of fulfilling the “good life”.)

    The pursuit of happiness is perhaps harder than that of money. Money can be seen, happiness cannot. Money is concrete, happiness is not. We cannot neatly pack happiness inside a box because happiness is less of a feeling than a state. We don’t feel comfortable when we sit at our dining chair; not unless we compare that to squat sitting against the wall. Similarly, I doubt that happiness is an obvious state, unless we compare it to another. 

    So how do we know if we are happy? Well, the easiest answer is you don’t. At least not at the moment. Happiness is different. We only remember being happy in the past, with retrospection mildly tinted by nostalgia and wistfulness. But what about now? 

    Stoicism informs us that practicing gratitude and negative visualisation can help us appreciate our circumstances more. But beyond that, it is in knowing that we will not get the present moment or phase of our lives back that we must make the most of it. The sum of our life experience is less about how well we do, but how strongly, or even happy, we feel at the end looking back.

    On Our Wanting 

    For a very long time, I believed ‘wanting’ to be bad. It’s one of those stereotypical Asian beliefs that gets adopted subconsciously by virtue of the surroundings. Wanting is, if anything, the very reason why we pursue anything. Wanting more is why our life moves forward. It is exactly why we live in apartments and not caves. Modern society tricks us into having mimetic desires – “fake wants” – invented for the interest of others. 

    Wanting is human. The pursuit of more without sacrificing your own identity and values is good. Find what you really want. Just remember, wants become regrets if you are not careful. 

    “It’s the oldest story in the world. One day you’re 17 and planning for someday. And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.” 

    ~ Nathan Scott, One Tree Hill

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    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • Friendships Amid Life’s Serendipity

    Friendships Amid Life’s Serendipity

    Quirkbag Collection #57 – 30.08.26

    6 years ago, I just got Netflix for the first time. Back then, I had no clue how much my life would be shaped by the characters and stories there. So much of our lives are shaped by forces we cannot see, by decisions we forgot we made, and by the hands of serendipity. If there were a way to experiment and observe life, we would learn just how much serendipity occurs.

    But I guess the closest we will get is season 3 of “The Good Place” (which honestly is good enough for me). 

    What Are Friendships?

    Not all of us are part of a 6-people friend group who often gathers at a cafe under our apartment in the city of New York. Not all of us have a loose cannon oddball jester in the friend group called Kramer either. Most of us have to squeeze our calendar to meet old friends from different phases of our lives, let alone to meet new people and make new friends. Of course, consider yourself lucky if you have a standing social meet up regularly. But realistically, have we been overly romanticising friendship? 

    What defines a friend is completely subjective. Is it someone you always talk to? Someone that you text everyday? Or is it someone that you share a flat with? What about best friends? Or are there just friends in a group? 

    Friends are like books. The more you have, the more space required. Eventually, you run out of space and time to store and fully relish in them. Fortunately, books’ value lie not in their volume but in the life-changing substance they offer. The best friendships are the ones that give you hope; that offer you solace when the world fails to provide; that lights a small candle flame in the dark night. It can be someone to sit silently with, being present in the moment. 

    The Beginning Of Another Friendship Starts With A Moment Shared

    If anything, friendships are not collectibles. It’s easy to look at classic sit-coms and wish we all had friends like Friends. Indeed, how fun that would be. Reality can be brutal when it comes to friendships. Without tending to (newer) friendships like a small fire, a gust of wind is all it takes to extinguish the friendship. Before we know it, what we thought were (strong) friendships are just people we used to know.  

    What Does It Take To Hold A Friendship?

    With the few treasured friends we have, how do we keep them? Surely, we cannot let serendipity have its way with a budding new connection or one that has borne fruit.  

    Friendships used to be easy in Primary school. You sat next to someone and if you both played the same video game, the same sport or took the same school bus, you made a new friend in a week. You would meet daily in class, and the friendship blossomed.

    I used to get the advice that “secondary school is where you make life long friends”. But that comes with a caveat: if you choose to lean into serendipity. The older we get, the more control we have to seal ourselves off personally and emotionally. We no longer bond as freely as we did as kids. Without leaning into serendipity and connecting with someone new, there will always be a perimeter around you distancing yourself from others. If you so choose, no one makes it past the perimeter. Slowly, superficial connections fade and drift into the abyss. 

    We wonder what happened to those “friends” we used to talk to. Especially as an adult, proximity is an advantage we no longer have and school, believe it or not, is a luxury platform we no longer belong in. We are on our own, with serendipity. 

    These days, friendships take up energy, like most relationships do. But hopefully you picked the right people so the relationships give more energy than they take. They say the best relationships take work. Indeed, it takes work to prevent the forces of reality from pulling people apart, just as these same forces created your one-in-a-billion encounter. To hold a friendship requires mutual effort and both sides need to recognise this. 

    Serendipitous Friendships and Their Fate

    Imagine you meet someone the way Kate Beckinsale did in Serendipity, just by sheer chance of picking the same glove as another stranger. Setting fiction aside, we tend not to notice the way serendipity occurs in our lives. Sure, we call “luck” at play, but really, they are but two faces of the same coin. We all experience serendipity and it nudges our lives in a slight direction. But one small nudge can go a long way, as Serendipity shows. 

    Serendipity is a quirk of the universe. It holds us in its palm, waiting to subtly influence us. The magic, however, lies in whether or not we take action after knowing about its presence. What do we do once we learn the odds are stacked against us? That the chance encounter might be once in a lifetime? People in our lives come and go. The truth is we never really know who are ones that will stay for a long time, until that long time has passed. Suddenly conversations revolve around key words like “those days” or “back then”.

    The ironic part about serendipity is that we have to play the cards we are dealt and yet, we barely get to choose what happens with those cards. We wish we could secure friendships with the new people we meet, to seed friendships into fruition. But in reality, the most we get is “Hello” and “Bye” – “Hi-Bye” friends. These are the ghosts of our friendships from serendipity.

    Setting aside the feasibility of maintaining huge numbers of friendships, one can only imagine how much more diverse and interesting life would be if we experienced just a fraction of all these serendipitous connections. We never know where we would end up just by the friendship with one new person. 

    The Tapestry of (University) Life

    Our lives take funny turns. You never know when you might meet a new person who would become someone important. The tapestry of life is just that – a series of coincidences interwoven with our actions to create our experience in this world. Of course, we choose our actions and we decide our direction. But all that happens in the context of an environment hardly of our choosing. The rest that comes along is serendipitous and a lesson to be learnt. 

    University is a great place to meet new people. It is a very exclusive and special phase of 4 years when being a “student” confers some unique advantages. People see potential in you and invitations to events are plastered. Committees are open to applications, communities need members. Social circles overlap like lunar eclipses, except far more frequently. Serendipity is at an all-time high should you choose to lean into it. 

    The culture is such that you never know who you might meet at any point in time, doing something you never thought you would be doing. It is anyone’s guess where that would lead you in life if you let serendipity broaden your horizon. Again, only if you choose to drop the perimeter and lean into it. 

    Perhaps the greatest twist is that serendipity can work its magic over years. What might appear trivial today could be the very experience you draw on years later. A reunion with someone you have yet to meet might be in order 15 years from now. Reconnecting with someone you met last week 10 years later might set your life in a new direction. For all the people we never meet, or the serendipity we never had, we just might deny ourselves the fine tapestry life has to offer. 

    Friendships Age Like Fine Bordeaux

    Not all wines are created equal, everyone knows that. Friendships are not all created equal either. Sometimes, we come to the end of a friendship’s lifespan (and yes, regrettably so). No one knows when that might be, but an amicable goodbye (or until next time) is a friendship well-lived. 

    For the lucky ones, we have best friends, friends of decades. These are friendships that have aged like fine wine, growing stronger and deeper than ever. And yes, once in a while we look back and think “it’s been a long way since…” Nostalgia is a good sign of a long-lasting friendship. Like a good book, it changes your life and you always go back to it.

    Just as how fine wine is not fine because there is an infinite source of it, a friendship’s beauty is not in its immortality. Instead, it is knowing that friendships will not be forever that makes every moment spent, every experience shared and every story told all the more precious.

    The beauty of friendship is in the being. 

    It is fate that we met; it is up to us to make the most of it.

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    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • On Life’s Infinite Opportunity Cost

    On Life’s Infinite Opportunity Cost

    Quirkbag Collection #56 – 23.08.26

    My second week in university just ended. Time truly flies and with it go our lives. I used to think 4 years was a long time. Secondary school felt pretty long back then but feels like 10 minutes in my memory. Recently, the 4 years in university has begun to feel like a really short period. With the countless opportunities readily available, the possibilities are endless. Precisely so, the opportunity costs to every decision and commitment are monumental. How could anyone choose just a few things to try and do, when you feel so compelled towards so much else?

    Enter decision-making. Enter the one-way doors. Here lies the conundrum of having options. There is a bittersweet illustration of this from Sylvia Plath in the metaphor of a fig tree. 

    The Fig Tree Of Life

    Before introducing this (somewhat) classic piece of text, I should say I am no literature expert. I do, however, appreciate the deeper sentiment behind the words, as all humans should. 

    Sylvia Plath wrote,

    “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

    From “The Bell Jar” by Syvia Plath

    Every fig represents a potential future we choose from.

    We cannot escape the reality that indecision is a decision. For better or worse, reality unfolds mercilessly regardless of our intention and in it, we get only to choose our own responses. Having options brings benefits only to the extent we exercise those options. In merely keeping the options open, but never really using them, we might as well never have had them. 

    Going Fig-Picking 

    The idea behind the whole fig tree is that we all have infinite potential that begins to wane as time passes. Obviously, the struggle to fulfill all possibilities is futile. Being human, we have to accept that our short lives are the sum of several figs which we picked. There is a beauty in seeing a fig tree blossom, and some might extend that to the withering of a fig tree. 

    We cannot choose how life finds us. But I would like to believe we are walking our own way to find some future version of ourselves; a version we aspire to be, look up to and be satisfied with. 

    Seizing opportunities can sometimes resemble catching chickens. One in hand is better than two in the bush. Of course, finding out what opportunities are worth pursuing is part of the challenge, one that is complicated because we cannot pick all the figs in the tree. Deciding to pick, and then picking, is by definition living your life. 

    Part of this process is deciding which figs are worth giving up. We are told more often in modern society that we should challenge the limits. It sounds great in theory, but when the rubber meets the road, reality distorts much of what we expected. Choosing to fulfill our potential in one domain to become some finer version of ourselves includes accepting the trade-offs and opportunity costs of not fulfilling another potential in a different domain.

    We cannot have our cake and eat it too, at least not at the same time.

    A Paragraph From An Article On Medium: Credit

    Some paths in life are mutually exclusive. But you can take these paths in succession. You can always try it for a season and revert back, unless you chose a one-way door. In that case, pick the fig well. 

    Juicing A Fig 

    In deciding which path to take, or the person we want to become, we eliminate every other alternative. The opportunity cost has been incurred, but hopefully in return for the fig we have chosen – the most important thing right now. 

    Yet, since our choices are so limited, it seems natural that we should maximise every available opportunity or option to fully “juice the fig”. How could we not juice it dry? How is that fair to the alternate versions of ourselves had we chosen other figs? 

    We will never know our true potential. We only know we get one shot at life, no do-overs. Does it not sow the seed of regret should we half-ass something we know we had the chance to make successful? Do we not owe it to ourselves, and even the world, to become that finer, if not finest, version of ourselves in that particular fig? 

    Seizing The Moment To Enjoy The Plane Ride; Life Always Feels On Pause At 30 000ft

    Juicing the fig is practically all art and no science. It merely takes a gut feeling to know when we have pursued the endeavour, or juiced the fig, till the end. And if we get there, we can move on to the next fig knowing it is not to be regretted. Perhaps that, stacked over a lifetime, is a life well-lived. 

    Reconciling The Mess Of Everything All At Once

    I was reminded, quite poignantly, that it is almost guaranteed that we will graduate with a degree from university and that it is what we choose to do beyond that in our 4 years that defines our experience. Beyond that degree, the world is our oyster. Beyond that degree, there is who we are as a person. 

    It is logical to conclude that we should only focus on the one or two possibilities we really want in our lives rather than fret over the infinite “ifs”. And yes, there is an infinite number of “ifs”. 

    Indeed, figuring out who we want to be and what steps to take towards it sometimes feels like driving with a blindfold on. But spending time thinking without trying becomes paralysis. More realistically, it is easy to get overwhelmed by the gritty details and tentacles of the current problem that we get bogged down into the weeds, forgetting the whole fig tree. 

    University is not all sunshine and rainbows as one might romanticise. The problems are hairy and the pressure can (and perhaps has) create diamonds. It can be torturing, soul-crushing, slow and grimy, and even takes our last bit of energy to pull through. And so it is easy to blame and hate the circumstances. But it is not the end. 

    Perhaps we owe ourselves the reminder that “this is not the part of our life that should feel miserable”, even if it sucks right now. I know I do, especially in university. There is no worse injustice I can do to myself than treating an opportunity like a punishment. It is one thing if the system drives us up the wall; it is another to drive ourselves insane chasing an arbitrary phantom goal to win an unwinnable game. 

    An Ode To Gratitude

    There are countless times when I asked myself if everything leading up to this had been worth it. All the studying and sacrifices that created my current life trajectory. Truth is, we would never know what the alternative is like because we cannot run experiments. Now that I live some version of a “happily ever after”, the past feels easy to write off. 

    One thing we all feel is that there is more we should achieve. That the grass is greener on the other side, no matter how green ours is. With this comes a burning sense of yearning and inferiority, even jealousy, of others living our opportunity costs and “what ifs”. But again, there are infinite ifs. 

    Stoicism teaches us gratitude by imagining our lives to be worse than it is now, almost like a cruel way to gain perspective. We may not have everything we want. And we never will. But maybe we do have everything we wanted 5 years ago.

    And that, perhaps, is encouraging enough to keep going while learning to be content.

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    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • Are You Truly Living Freely?

    Are You Truly Living Freely?

    Quirkbag Collection #54 – 09.08.26

    “The Shawshank Redemption” gave us a line by which we all ought to live: 

    “Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.” 

    We have moved on from that age of racial segregation; their cars are now vintage. But that line still remains classic. 

    When I started this blog, the biggest driving factor was documenting my thoughts and experiences before school starts again. It meant to push me to “get busy livin’”. Well, school starts next week and I never thought I would be looking back at my time so quickly. 

    But there is something to be said about using this frame as a lens through which we make choices. If something fails to add to your life, or merely eats your time, then really, it is pushing you to “get busy dyin’”. 

    How free are you, really?

    Has Your Life Begun?

    Ramit Sethi has this theme about living a Rich Life. A Rich Life is one that aligns your money with your goals and life values, guiding you to spend freely but intentionally rather than haphazardly. Most people don’t do this.

    There is a good chance that most of us are living a lie. We live someone else’s expectations of us, and not who we would like to be. Most of us are tied down by our reality – commitments we no longer want, relationships we performatively maintain, old habits overdue for correction. We have patterns in our lives because that’s the only life we have known; the one we were raised with. 

    Besides the essential life commitments (caring for family members, paying bills etc), there is a whole other chunk of life waiting to be lived for most of us. Yet, we don’t see it because we have never thought to ask what life we really want. Again, it’s easier to put our heads down and “get on with it”. 

    It is not about throwing caution to the wind or dreaming lofty ideals far detached from reality. Being realistic remains fairly significant. Rather, are you choosing to maximise your free will (which some humans historically did not have) in your life? Or are you sleepwalking through life being resistant to changes for the better?

    Where Do You Feel The Most Free?

    There is a unique and incomparable feeling of catharsis that some of us have when we are in certain places. These places soothe and recharge, and just temporarily, everything else in the world fades away. For beach-lovers, maybe it’s walking along the shoreline and hearing the waves crash. For others, it’s watching sunrises and sunsets, or the horizon itself.

    The Horizon From A Mountain In Zhangjiajie

    One of my favourite parts of travelling is being in the airport before departure. I love being in the airport and boarding the plane (this is largely because I depart from Changi airport). Seeing all the listed flights heading to all parts of the world brings this sense of freedom and possibility to life.

    There is vast potential in the blank space of our future, the time not yet spent. The only question is how we will align our lives to feel the most free, the most fulfilled and the most at peace. 

    Parkinson’s Law At Scale

    Dare I propose a thought experiment. 

    Imagine Andy, a boy with dreams of skydiving. As he grows older, this dream slowly recedes to the back of his mind to free up space for more current problems. School, sports, relationships, money and more. Without constantly reminding himself of his dream, life’s banal routines take charge. Andy graduates and works a full-time job.

    With the gift of the third-person perspective, we can easily advise him to save up and pursue his skydiving dream by taking a trip and never looking back. But how far are we willing to take our own advice to pursue our neglected dreams? 

    What disguises as “reality” is our imaginary excuse to settle for mediocrity. Should we ignore or procrastinate what we want out of life, life will take what it wants out of us. Afterall, it is easier to stay where we are than risk what we have for something we kind of want. It is always easier to say “next year”. 

    Extrapolating our procrastination due to the available time left, Parkinson’s law works at scale, with our lifespan being the time horizon. We delay what we want to do because we can “always do it in the future”. But our future runs out. Unless you are Tom Cruise, it is unlikely you are skydiving solo at 60. 

    We can delay doing some things (say, going on a cruise), but others like hiking Everest or skydiving, they can only be done in certain periods of our lives. Once gone, these periods of life will never return, and with them goes certain life experiences. So instead of waiting, we might as well take the next available opportunity. 

    Your Best Life

    Comparison is the best way to view progress, and the easiest way to feel inferior. Worst still, some of us tie our self-worth or identity to these things we have or do. Our society and economy easily perpetuate the false association. We buy into the belief that we must always “be the best or go nowhere” and we kill ourselves trying to “be the best” without ever knowing why. We chase arbitrary approvals and success, only to be unsatisfied.

    Money is undoubtedly vital to living comfortably in any city, but somewhere along the line, we have accidentally linked it to our success in life and a measure of our self-worths. The numbers in our banks do not equal points in our lives that we can somehow cash out. While we need money, it hardly represents a fulfilling life, let alone the best life for you.

    To some, all shiny jewels and gems in the world still remain a distant second to a good book and a cup of tea. There is as much to life as we believe there to be, whether it is the value of enjoying a book or otherwise. Your best life is what you discover to be truly freeing and fulfilling, regardless of how simple it may be. 

    Part Of The Three Gorges in China; This Year Is As Good As Any For A Visit

    Is it a walk along the beach? Or is it slowly backpacking around Europe? 

    We are free. Our time is finite.

    So “get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’”.

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    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • Must Everything Have Meaning?

    Must Everything Have Meaning?

    Quirkbag Collection #52 – 26.07.26

    As children, the system taught us to do everything that teachers and parents say. We played a game designed for us and graduated in the mold of their shaping. Our entire personality or profile is “captured” in no more than 600 words, with several key achievements. 

    That represents around 12 years of life. Where do we go next? 

    The system has run out of railroads. We’re left wondering what this all means. Where do we find the meaning in what we do? Is there even a point?

    ~ The Myth of Time Management ~

    Frequent readers may remember that I learned time management to be a myth. We do not control time. We merely have it trickling through our existence. As a scarce resource, or perhaps our only resource, do we optimise every moment and squeeze the very last bit of utility? 

    Theoretically, it sounds like the most “economic” way to live. Use every second to achieve every bit more output for some goal in the future. Yet, most goals in the future are just goals we set. Most of them are arbitrary and are not what we truly want. Worse still, they are goals we have been pressured to set by our environment. 

    Surprisingly, there is a unique pain that arises from needing to schedule every second of life. As a student, I used to optimise everything over my final few years. The mindset was to devote every second of time to some form of studying or revision. Every moment planned. Guilt and regret were all that hung in the balance. Any “wasted” time would cause an unspoken misery. Sometimes it still does. 

    What I thought was a switch that could be turned off was a habit that stuck around subconsciously. I felt compelled to have everything done with “a purpose”. It must count for something.  

    Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being unproductive; except my mind cannot stand it. Must there really be some reason or purpose for everything we do in life? 

    What if we did something just for the fun of it, with a rom-com-like spontaneity? As an end rather than a means to an end? In an Adam Sandler/Jim Carrey-kind of style?

    ~ Meaning Of Life ~

    What if we did things for no material reason?

    The easy answer for optimists is “adventure”. Yet on the flip side of this coin, it would be “wasteful”. An adventure is an exploration of the unknown with no guarantee of results. All partakers understand the risk of having no returns, with only the promise of what might be a thrilling and fun process. 

    Choosing adventure directly gives up the alternate path of certainty – a “waste” in the eyes of some. It is, unsurprisingly, what made me start this blog too. 

    The meaning of life has no real answer. It is what anyone subjectively decides it to be. And so is the way we spend our time.

    Everything need not have meaning. It can, but it does not need to. It becomes easy to get caught up in others’ judgement of our lives, when we are constantly asked to justify our decisions and life choices. We fear the shame of falling short in the eyes of others more than in our own. Perhaps we should remember to give ourselves permission to do things even if they lead to no real “end”. 

    The greatest shame for those who know, deeply, what they want, is never having tried to pursue that. 

    ~ The Eileen Gu Phenomenon ~

    A real conundrum reveals itself when you live with the acceptance of mortality and the need to maximise every moment for your goals. In other words, the conundrum of having everything when they seem mutually exclusive. 

    How do you peacefully accept that life is finite and that time should be enjoyed when simultaneously, you know that the greatest success only comes with intense effort and time spent?

    Enter Eileen Gu, a recent Internet sensation for the latest in human-inspiring achievements. She received attention for having the courage to and also being able to pull off never-before-seen skiing stunts, while also being the most decorated Olympic freestyle skier, fashion model and Ivy-League student.

    While the mindset of neuroplasticity is a main takeaway, perhaps we’re missing something else. Genuine intention to life. You cannot be Eileen Gu, much as you cannot be Steve Jobs, because you would be fake. Hard work can be duplicated. Obsession cannot. 

    To be obsessed is to gladly devote all your time and life to something you genuinely deem worthy. It’s not a trade, like what we do with most tasks. It’s a voluntary gift with no expectation of any returns from life. An exploration is voluntarily going on a journey for its sake, with no promise that any prize be won. 

    Eileen’s life has meaning to her. She loves skiing, despite the bad days. Swapping lives, you only want the glory without the work. Your lifestyle has become aligned with your “purpose” when you would rather do nothing else and live no other way. Obsession is your life. 

    ~ Drawing The Line In The Sand ~

    How do I know if I am lazy or if I just want to live a slow life? 

    Try this two-part question: “Would you rather do anything else now? Would you regret this trade later on?” 

    We crave the success depicted in modern media. We want to do great things, have great lives while holding onto our comfortable piece of mediocrity. The tension tears us apart. Our indecision to give up who we are for who we think we want to be, puts us in limbo.   

    Accepting who we are, where we want to go and the chance of failure is scary and vulnerable. You subtly tell yourself that you might leave potential on the table – you might not empty the tank.

    Doing everything in your power, relentlessly, for a goal you deem worthy, regardless of outcome, is immensely excruciating but the surest way to achieve greatness. We torture ourselves to greatness. That is true for all great individuals. A burning obsession to do everything and anything possible toward excellence never fails; with words from Eileen Gu herself. 

    But even then, that thing must mean something to you. 

    Greatness is hollow without your sense of fulfilment and personal alignment. 

    Not everything needs or has meaning. But everything has meaning with true personal alignment. 

    Click the arrows for other posts!

    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • Comparison Is Too Much

    Comparison Is Too Much

    Quirkbag Collection #50 – 12.07.26

    Are we really ourselves or just what people make us to be? A product of modern consumerism and media, with a tad of envy from comparison. 

    There seems to be so much more comparison now that we chase this alternate version of ourselves just to “keep up with the times”. Worse still, comparison drives us to create this version of ourselves which we may not even want. 

    If you do not juggle 3 projects at work, sleeping 7 hours, walking 10K steps, meditating, spending weekends with friends and family all while working on self-improvement, you are somehow “less”. Or at least it feels that way when you see someone doing just that. And so we do more…just to say we did more…

    But why? Is less not more? 

    Modern Comparison Culture 

    There used to be a time when comparison was simply finding the farmer who harvested more carrots. Then came several industrial revolutions and today we’re comparing influence through an arbitrary digital number on a screen on social media. God forbid that number is zero, or non-existent, and you’ll get mocked for it. 

    We’re constantly compared to others whether in absolute or relative terms that we forget who we really are. Whether it is school admissions, project recruitments, job interviews, people love to compare us to the next person. But they compare the glossy, shiny part that we create to show others – the cool stuff. 

    Where did the normal, not-so-cool but human part of us go? 

    Somewhere along the line, we started chasing this phantom version of ourselves that represents what society and the world thinks we should be. Yet it is only reasonable that we adopted this shift because that’s how we get by now. 

    We have to be more something than the next guy. 

    To do more is to have more impact. To do more is to be better. Or is it? 

    Escaping Comparison Means Deviation

    Much like having clarity on your life’s purpose, there is great comfort and peace in knowing who we are and who we want to be. The new crease is that it may come at the price of being different. Society has a fickle stance on those who are different. 

    It’s incredible how we judge the extent of ‘different’ today. If you’re different because you become an entrepreneur who builds a modern rooftop farm growing carrots in Singapore, society slaps a ‘well done’ on your back. But if you’re choosing to grow carrots along the countryside instead of a cushy but somewhat boring corporate job in the city, people raise their eyebrows.   

    You almost have to be the “right kind” of different. 

    The false belief that there’s a link between doing more and being more is a subtle but poisonous one. To be the ‘role model’ or ‘success standard’, modern society links volume with ability, ability with identity. The succinct new word for it is ‘brand’. That’s how young people are being judged today. 

    The question society implicitly asks is “What’s your personal ‘brand’?” 

    Yet, it feels like the real question is “How much more and better are you doing than the next guy?”

    The answer had better be more than growing carrots. 

    What About A Personal Brand?

    Now of course, there’s more to us and our lives than a ‘brand’. We know that because this concept did not used to exist. It’s not practical to always show or build this brand in everything we do. We’re flawed humans trying to be a polished pearl, and we judge one another based on who gets the closest. It’s borderline sad to think how we have brought it to an extreme. 

    Worse still, we’re not even always doing it for the right reasons. 

    Do we really need so many “followers” online? 

    Our lives did not used to include living vicariously through others apart from the occasional rumour or story. Today, it’s mildly tragic that we invented ‘screen time’ and actively use it to determine how much of our lives we’re actually living. 

    To escape this self-made comparison trap, where the more we do the more we compare with others, we have to choose to do less to be more. Afterall, no one can do everything. 

    But perhaps we’re confusing this public version of ourselves with who we really are. We’re so caught up with building this supposedly important public image and ‘brand’ that we forget our private self. And before we know it, we no longer know who we are at our core and who we want to be. 

    All we remember is to compare with others and see if we’re doing enough to remain “validated” by others. Gone is the clarity we need to find our own purpose and identity. 

    More Is Not More; Less Is Still More

    With modern digitalisation being increasingly pervasive, there’s a premium for privacy (or as I like to call it – analog) and solitude these days. And perhaps these are the very things we need most to remember who we truly are instead of what we try to make ourselves to be. 

    Doing more for the sake of it is a surefire way to create burnout, pressure, more comparison and meaningless work. Doing less is also guaranteed to cause feelings of inferiority, more comparison and a sense of falling behind. What then? 

    Most comparisons are made to gain self-assurance; to feel “normal within the group”. 

    But more is not more. Less is still more, just as any minimalist would say. But only if you pick the right few things for yourselves. Therein lies the real test of whether you know who you are, and who you want to be. 

    So, are you doing more or are you being more?

    Click the arrows for other posts!

    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • Trying Something New Is Scary

    Trying Something New Is Scary

    Quirkbag Collection #41 – 24.04.26

    Today was my last day at Ya Kun. I resigned due to a new job that required more time commitment. It’s been 4 months since I began working at Ya Kun, and albeit being a part-timer, it feels like a tiny lifetime. The journey has been bitter then sweet.  

    A Toast To The Toast 

    Most of the time, I toasted bread for the afternoon crowd till closing time. It’s not particularly glamorous. It’s certainly not a technically difficult task. But it takes patience and a ridiculous amount of practice to master quality and efficiency. I could never handle the morning crowd. Seeing order slips printed moment over moment made me shudder. Nonetheless, it’s a skill. A life experience. 

    Like everything we do, deep down we always know that there’s a day when it comes to an end. Today is that day for my time at Ya Kun. I remember my very first day learning to toast bread. Zero experience and no knowledge, but passable under no pressure. Even of late, my hands still shake occasionally. Anxiety is a lifelong, seasonal beast. 

    It’s comforting to know that growth and improvement do occur, even when it’s slow and negligible day-to-day. But it’s there, a tiny bit adding on to another bit. We have to trust that deliberate actions in favour of improvement add to the growing reservoir of expertise. 

    Every Beginning Is Another Learning Curve

    It’s tough to accept failure and defeat. Anyone who tries anything new knows it. Failure in private feels better, especially if there’s a fragile ego present. But maybe the more you fail, the more that your ego and skill may be strengthened which will make future learning easier. 

    The learning curve is always there for anyone with a new beginning. Even toasting bread (professionally). There was definitely a unique learning curve initially, even if it flattens out over time. But the experience builds calluses for the ego and the ability to learn.

    It’s inevitable that once you experience enough learning curves, you eventually know how to navigate the challenges of picking up the next new thing. You just know what to expect. 

    Every endeavour in your life, every adventure, every chapter, every experience that becomes your story exists because you took the plunge and went through the curve. That environment forced you to adapt and grow. Now you live to tell the tale. 

    Experience is itself the feather in your cap. Isn’t that awesome? 

    Excellence Is Beautiful 

    Some people look down on ‘simple’ jobs that are mostly repetitive, uninspiring and boring. It is boring once the learning curve is maxed out. But when it does, you are presented with a choice. Keep doing the same thing several thousand times in a row, or turn your skill into art. 

    One day I watched one of the aunties toasting bread at Ya Kun. I saw just how exceptional and smooth the whole process was. Zero wasted energy, just pure rhythm from one action to the next. This was not mere “experience”. People often miss the forest for the tree: the skill of bread toasting was elevated to art. 

    Honestly, it was gratifying to watch a master at work. More importantly, there is an indescribable beauty in excellence in general. Excellence at toasting bread, juggling, surfing, bartending, pottery and more. They all have the same charm, but we don’t notice it. 

    We are too distracted. We are bugged by unfinished work or difficult tasks. You have to be present in the moment, to see it for what it is without letting those 14 different random thoughts floating in your mind interfere. I wonder, how much do we truly appreciate the skillsets and art which others quietly give in service to us? 

    Disclaimer: this is not an excuse to use familiarity and comfort as a disguise for fear of new beginnings to avoid change. 

    A New Beginning Is Another Learning Curve

    As I soon embark on a new beginning in a new job, I know there will be yet another learning curve lying in wait. The thing about trying new things and having new beginnings is that we always try to make it perfect.

    We want to be “perfect amateurs”. But amateurs are flawed.

    We crave control and design the ideal circumstances to learn the skill or experience the thing. In truth, neither of them is ever perfect. They just are. It’s the fear of letting go, relinquishing our comfort and becoming absolutely terrible at something again that stops us. And it’s a very gripping fear. One that goes stronger every time I give in to it. 

    It’s tempting to simply stay in the comfort zone, especially if we navigated the old learning curve already. Being uncomfortable again feels most unappealing. 

    A new beginning is another learning curve. It implies failure, uncertainty and discomfort. But, all the things we have done prior to right now were once new and involved a learning curve. We did them anyway, so we have more adaptability than we think. Our minds are too engulfed in fear and anxiety. 

    If you have been wanting to close a chapter in your life, whether it is to quit an old routine, start a new one, try yoga, practice calisthenics, learn surfing or anything in the world, embrace the inevitable learning curve and just suck at it for a while. 

    A new beginning, toward anything better or worth pursuing, is just another learning curve. 

    Progress Is Not Linear – It’s Randomly Upwards

    I come across this quite often – “progress is not linear.” 

    What people mean to say is that visual metrics of improvement fluctuate on a small timescale. Over a long enough time horizon (weeks, months, years, decades), just like a stock market chart, the line goes up (most times). You can’t feel progress in the moment unless you see it. That’s why it feels like forever. 

    If you can’t predict it, it feels like randomness. And it is. It might take longer or shorter than you think. 

    I did not learn to pour a reasonably shaped latte-art heart or flower in a month. In fact, it took me almost a year to pour it consistently. Somewhere along the way my performance dropped, and I thought I lost it. In reality, it’s just one of those times when it gets worse before it gets better. 

    It Took Me Almost A Year

    Most of what I write seems like a reminder to myself to keep hanging in there. And I hope you will too. 

    Here’s a quote that might lower the stakes for you (and me):

    Everything is a win if the goal is to experience. 

    Experience the new beginning. Embrace the learning curve after.  

    Go ahead, read my other posts!

    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • Turning 21: Learning How To Start Adulting

    Turning 21: Learning How To Start Adulting

    Quirkbag Collection #38 – 03.04.26

    I recently turned 21. What a magic number that is. That one day in someone’s lifetime is probably the biggest age milestone that humans celebrate. But just imagine the disappointment being number 22 (then again, 22 is the title of a song by Taylor Swift).

    Apart from marking the start of adulthood, whether we like it or not, perhaps it also symbolises the beginning of one’s adventure in life, as intended by society. 

    What Does Adulting Even Mean?

    Turning 21 can bring the epitome of joy and celebration. But no one really tells you “then what?”. What comes after turning into an adult? 

    Most romanticised answers are “freedom”, “love”, “adventure”, “independence”. But really, the average person older than 21 might say “stress”, “work”, “responsibility”, “tired”.  

    Reality sets in for all of us somehow. And sure, life can become far better over the years with nicer jobs and lifestyles. Maybe that’s nearer to 41. 

    I met a young adult at work recently and on becoming an adult having to work, the response was indeed “yea it sucks”. But of course, it’s just one opinion. 

    It’s stressful to think about adulthood being linked with independence, especially as a switch that we can just ‘turn on’. Nothing in life is really like that. 

    Independence is inculcated and nurtured rather than ‘awarded’ by virtue of age. We learn as we go, independence comes when we learn to manage ourselves. And that can be really scary.

    One day you’re taking the bus home when you’re 12 and now you have to learn how to file taxes before you end up like Al Capone. (We don’t learn either after blowing the candles on our cake.) 

    If adulting means being completely responsible and independent and mature, there is probably no shortage of those older than 21 but aren’t actually adulting yet.

    Growing Into An Adult

    I used to think that age was like an adventure video game. Every year is like a quest chapter that unlocks once you complete the previous one and the game awards you new stuff. Age and adulting do not work like that. Many can attest that life rewards you with lessons after beating you down. 

    If you’re waiting for something magical to just happen in life at 18, or 21, or any age, it’s probably not happening. It’ll definitely not happen just because your birthday passed. Nothing just happens because of age. Maybe except chronic knee pain. 

    My Birthday Balloon

    Adulting can be so hard because our lives drastically change before we’re prepared. We’re not seen as young students anymore, not given as much benefit of doubt and everyone seems to expect more. Our problems change, life circumstances change, our friends change, our lifestyle changes. But what about us? You. 

    Did you change as fast as everything else? 

    Probably not. 

    It’s easy to pass casual judgement “how is he so childish when he’s 21?” based on sporadic observations, however compelling they may be. But as if maturity, or independence, or anything, just comes naturally to the birthday boy when the sun rises on his birthday. 

    Sunrise Behind My Silhouette On My Birthday Morning

    Maturing, growing, becoming independent, and adulting in general takes time. Some of us take decades, as insane as it might sound. I remember peers who were miles ahead in adulting even in JC, making their own life decisions, taking charge of the direction of their lives and surfing the tides of life. 

    I was not like them. Nor were most of us at 18. I was busy figuring out how to do better in the system while they unwittingly figured out how to do better in their life. 

    The exceptions are rare. That’s why they are exceptions. 

    Making Friends As A New Adult?

    Adulthood is a broad period of our lifetime. Spanning basically from 21 till death, adulthood is a one-way street. 

    As I grow older, I realise that relationships aren’t so easily labelled anymore. The people you know cannot comfortably be grouped as “friends”. In pre-school or kindergarten, everyone had to be friends. Everyone was referred to as each other’s friends, as the environment intended. 

    But as far as I’ve heard, that’s not the workplace. No, the workplace is serious business. It’s meant for work. We must all sit in front of computers and be busy for 8 hours a day unless we get chosen to sit at a bigger desk with other people for a few of the 8 hours. 

    At work, the assumption is that you don’t need friends to do the job. You don’t need the environment to make friends, because you should automatically take care of that as part of adulting. But we all know friendships can be seasonal. 

    I doubt anyone finds friendships easier in adulthood. Having to ‘manage them’ as though they are work appointments because our time is too preciously dedicated to work, that’s a little sad. Without intentionally drawing lines to design our lives to fully be ourselves, it’s truly so easy to fall into the trappings of a conventional, mediocre, boring version of life.

    If your life were a painting, the saddest part is when everyone who you have ever met, stranger or otherwise, gets a single brush stroke in it, and your entire painting is a mess created by others rather than by your own vision. 

    Better to make your own messy painting than accept that of others, right?

    Dealing With Adulting

    With university starting soon, I can’t help but think it’s the last checkpoint before the vast ocean of work ahead, whatever form that might take. 

    It remains scary, as it is to many others (perhaps including the reader, you), to think that beyond university, from the point of graduation to your death, you are going to be alone in your “adulting”. There’s communities of people with similar pursuits, clubs of those with common interests, but it’s not the same as that “school” environment anymore. There aren’t the same people who would stay in your class till the end of the year. 

    “We are in the same boat”, but it seems that the boat has somehow shrunk down so much. 

    It is unsurprising that most work relationships stay work-related. Maybe because it is easier to maintain that hierarchy. To keep the “professionalism”. The focus is after all on the work, and not the people in the workplace. Unlike school, people would rather keep their jobs to sustain a lifestyle than to treat it as a place for fun and bonding and disregard the stakes. 

    Embracing An Irreversible Change

    The most important aspect of being an adult is probably self-awareness. Being aware of the ugly mess that is some of our mental states, the randomness of our lives’ daily circumstances, the impact that we have on others and vice versa. We carry a lot of what we learnt and grew up with in school with us into this realm of adulthood. But the game has changed. 

    No one taught us that life is now completely in your hands, to do as you wish, as you can, once you graduate from the system’s game. Everything in adulting is for you to find out – and there’s a lot – none of which is quite covered as a subject in school. It’s just too hard.

    Adulting is new to me, as it once was to everyone. With blogs like this and the proliferation of media and content, it’s getting easier to learn the hard-won life lessons in this age than it was for the previous generation. Just think of all the perspectives, ideas, advice and regrets people share online and how you can seek wisdom from them. Here’s some.

    Figuring out what to do in adulthood is probably the single most recurring topic for those who are adulting. And I guess I am figuring that out for myself too, alongside this blog.  

    Thanks For Reading. Click The Arrows For More!

    Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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  • Lost In Life: My Lessons From Books

    Lost In Life: My Lessons From Books

    Quirkbag Collection #15 – 19.09.25

    I am officially lost in my life. It was my suspicion, now it’s confirmed. I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. But it’s not entirely a bad thing. At least that’s what Jerry Seinfeld assures me. 

    Our search for purpose and goals in life is just about as common as cars with wheels (even Doc’s flying DeLorean had wheels). This simply means that we desire something more than what we have, to become greater than we are now. Being lost in life sparked a curiosity that drove me down a rabbit hole. I got into business and self-development books over many months seeking wisdom, knowledge and philosophies of life. So this is like my culmination of it all. 

    This is not going to be like those ‘advice’ videos on YouTube, because I am just like you, stumbling my way through time. And also because there’s so many of those. 

    Here’s a quick chart of what I have read about: 

    My Life Today (for interested people) 

    After Junior College, I enlisted in the military. Today, my time in service is coming to an end, a slow and bitter end. But, nonetheless, an end I have anticipated for as long as I remember. Ironically, it’s not the end that I think about now, but the start of literally everything else after that. 

    It’s so easy to hide yourself in the excuse of ‘I am getting through (phase of life). I’ll start doing (project) after this.’ as though life is currently on pause. 

    Surprise: it’s not! As much as we delude ourselves into thinking something is just in the way of our real lives, it is our lives. But it’s the way we are taught, moving from primary school, to secondary school, to pre-university and then university itself. Everything is a means to an end. To the future ‘life’. 

    Introducing…the Arrival Fallacy. It’s something I learnt from Ali Abdaal (he’s such a mentor figure, check him out!)

    Credits: Ali Abdaal (https://www.youtube.com/@aliabdaal)

    So this search for purpose and clarity in life is like a can of worms because now I can’t un-know certain truths. And the more I read and learn, the more there is to know and learn.

    But at some point, I just have to start living. Everyone does. And that’s the trick, starting and doing it before you think you are truly ready because you never will be.

    Behind The Illusion of Wealth

    One of the best books I have read on creating wealth is ‘The Millionaire Fastlane’ by MJ DeMarco. And I don’t mean just hiding behind the illusion of wealth. There’s many types of wealth, yes, but for the most part, to create financial freedom, I have learnt the most from his book. 

    He described the reality of education systems and modern work culture so sharply that I cannot help but feel chills in my bones. It’s a bleak future. But he offers the perspective that many people search for, an escape. But there’s a price. 

    Knowing the price of the escape made me understand why it’s easy to follow the crowd and find the illusion of wealth instead. It takes willingness to fail indefinitely, to be mocked, to be afraid, to risk what we presently have and these go against everything we have been taught. 

    Success and greatness in financial wealth comes not from doing what everyone else does. And that’s the scary part. We rather extinguish the sparks of a dream than face the demons and monsters along that path. That’s the fundamental lesson from the books. And once I know it, I can’t unknow it.

    If you have a goal, a dream, then knowing what it takes to get there means that every choice is either one step toward slaying the monsters or running the other way. 

    I don’t doubt you can achieve that lofty financial goal, so long as you really want it and commit to find out just how far you can go. Otherwise, ‘wealth’ is just an ideal. 

    Alex Hormozi says it here with much more punch. 

    Productivity vs Busy 

    Productivity is yet another myth debunked by books like ‘Four Thousand Weeks’ by Oliver Burkeman and ‘Slow Productivity’ by Cal Newport. Honestly, you don’t need many other productivity books because these share all that is worth knowing. We often shy away from the ‘Productivity vs Busy’ comparison. Because it is uncomfortable and not very ‘mainstream’. 

    Being lost in life is easily attributed to busy schedules at work. Your boss pays you to work (physical action, physical output) and feels uneasy when you internalise or think for extended periods (mental action, no output). Everything needs to be fast. Who cares about being intentional and deliberate in creating quality work? 

    It takes boredom and quiet pockets of time to really let our minds work, to maximise our brainpower. Thanks to modern technology, extensive digital interruption disrupts that process. Get back to it, listening to the quiet inner voice. Don’t worry so much about replying emails after emails without really moving the needle where it matters. 

    My discovery of this concept affirms that great work is done with great effort, energy and time, and often after many repetitions and failures. It is impossible to fail if you have one goal and a relentless pursuit toward it, no matter what it costs in time, energy and effort. That’s true productivity: moving the needle where it matters. 

    Happiness Is Real?

    Happiness, like gratitude and success, is not a ‘to-do’. It also can’t really be one. What even is happiness? It’s not joy, not pleasure and certainly not an end. You don’t become ‘happy’ after doing something, at least that’s what the books find, but it sort of sneaks in when you least expect it. Just like you can’t force an emotion, you just feel it. You can be happy, you can’t do happy. 

    Those who constantly chase after success or happiness, being the elusive phenomena they are, don’t really get it.

    Well, life is quite funny sometimes. 

    I cannot say I am ‘happy’, because I am discovering my definition of it. If you can, that’s great. Because now, when it comes along, you would know it. Happiness is, and always has been, such a human desire. One day, through some experience or realisation, I hope to discover true happiness, not the many fake ideals that falsely promise ‘happiness’. 

    Being lost in life places a new lens on the way I judge emotions. In school, I felt little else but the need to study. The hectic days compress time from months to weeks and weeks to days, with most days being rather identical anyway.

    I am in a phase now, called ‘Liminal Space’, between periods of life where I get a ‘reset’ in perspective. It forces me to take stock of life, see life for what it is and not what the school or system taught it to be. Happiness was not found in this awkward gap in time, but it’s where I began to learn about it.

    Happiness is worth thinking about, take a break from emails. You keep looking into the future for what’s next and soon the answer is the grave. 

    The Messy Thing Called ‘Life’ 

    Life is messy. There’s too many things you cannot control. But there’s everything you can choose to do. Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think and Grow Rich’ is a book like blue cheese, it either divides or unites. Some say it’s the best book on success, some say it’s just scant philosophy. 

    Personally, it’s as ‘science-y’ as you can expect for a formula to be successful in life. Life is not perfect math, so why would the formula be perfect? The more digestible version of the book’s concepts is found in ‘Napoleon Hill’s Best Speeches’. Whether you find it practical, it is food for thought. Thank me later. 😬

    Being lost in life, searching for my ‘calling’ (as cringe-y as that is), means trying and testing new and random things. And that has been fruitful across the months as I have read the best advice and lessons from books. Life is an adventure that no one tells you to try and enjoy. They tell you to ‘get in the hole’ and carry on with life. 

    Oh don’t worry, life will carry on, no matter what you do. So if you are like me, meeting life at the first of many major crossroads, learn from others and look ahead at where you are going, then choose your next step, one at a time. It’s scary to face infinite possibilities. Especially when it can change your life. But there is no hero and story without an origin and monsters. 

    Despite being lost in life, I thank William Henley: 

    “I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul”

    – Invictus, William Ernest Henley

    But To Be Clear…

    But to be clear, this is not a recipe for a wonderful, smooth and incredible life. If anything, it’s a hint at a tough, bumpy road toward a good life. I always remember this quote, again, from a bulldozer of an entrepreneur: 

    ‘Just like we measure the quality of a blacksmith by the strength of his steel, I measure you by what you are at the end, not the fire and hammer it took to make you.’ 

    Credits: Alex Hormozi (https://www.youtube.com/@AlexHormozi)

    I have written what I have thought. You will find that there is no step-by-step guide. These are books I have read that I find valuable and inspiring to break free from the system which brings people to ‘live the same 6 months’ for 40 years of their career with unfulfilled souls. In fulfilling a soul, I know it is worth trying and failing every once in a while. 

    I have included a list of books I find worth reading. They are at the end, because knowing the titles first can be distracting. I know very few people would bother reading them because they are ‘boring’ or not for an exam. But after all, it’s just your future at hand here. 

    For good measure, why not have one more quote? This one, I find incredibly timeless. 

    “If we are related, we shall meet.”

    – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    And if I may say so, through these paragraphs, we have met. Being lost in life is not all bad. In fact, it’s pretty good. Because for once, you get to pick your direction ahead. 

    If you have made it this far, thanks for reading. 

    Random list of well-arranged words that made invaluable books, which I recommend: 

    • Four Thousand Weeks (Oliver Burkeman)
    • Deep Work (Cal Newport)
    • Slow Productivity (Cal Newport)
    • The Millionaire Fastlane (MJ DeMarco)
    • Napoleon Hill’s Greatest Speeches (Napoleon Hill) 
    • Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill)
    • 100M Offers (Alex Hormozi)

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