Quirkbag Collection #48 – 14.06.26
Our lives used to be interesting. We used to enjoy the dull and exciting moments all the same, because it made life feel different. Taking the train did not feel like a chore, it felt like an experience. Walking felt like a natural part of the day, now it’s almost an anathema. God forbid the weather be extra humid and hot.
If you feel like life has fallen into a routine, that your life has a certain silent emptiness despite having all that you used to want, your texture of life has smoothened. The texture of life refers to how interesting or memorable life is or has been. When days seem to blend into one, when nothing special stands out in mind, that is a life with no texture. When you can’t remember the last time something felt truly interesting or exciting, that’s a smooth texture.
But why?
What could make life lose texture?
Embracing Ephemerality
The texture of life is built through bursts of experiences of varying intensity. The greater the intensity or emotion of the task/experience, the stronger the memory and texture it has. Whether it’s a few months spent learning something new, or starting a new job, or going through a different ‘phase’ in life, meeting someone new, all of it counts. I used to think life has but one fixed rhythm and texture. That we are meant to graduate from school and work the same job for 40 years till retirement. Alas, there is almost no life texture in such a future without any career growth.
Our days are ephemeral, whether you think of them as good days or bad days. We don’t remember the days. We only remember the unique experiences – the firsts, the lasts, the unusual, the painful. These create the texture of our lives. Without them, we seem to fall to our level of comfort and routine, slowly putting our brain on auto-pilot. We drift through life without remembering what or why we did things.
That’s when time starts to fade. It passes so quickly that we don’t feel it until it’s over, much like Adam Sandler in “Click”. When we think back, we ask “Where did all the time go?” You lost it to autopilot, to the overly optimised life, to the extreme convenience and lack of serendipity.
Learning About The 2%
So why? Why can’t we live like we did 20 years ago?
Our brain is wired to release dopamine when we do something successfully. Modern lifestyle hijacks this system with instant gratification through social media and more. We’re so used to this ‘boring’ life because we don’t remember what life used to be like 20 years ago; when the resistance and inconvenience of today’s world were actually the norm.
Our highly optimised and convenient life has become a frustration because there is no longer a contrast. Finding resistance and sitting with the discomfort of difficulty is the point. That makes the easy part easy, the fun part fun and the quiet moments loud. Our brains are meant for thinking and solving.
Discomfort and difficulty make the ordinary special, the boring interesting, the usual exciting and the habits a relief. That’s the power of facing some resistance. It pushes your mind off autopilot and into the present.
A survey shows 2% of people would choose the stairs when the lift/escalator is easily available. Extending the statistical metaphor, it introduces the idea of intentionally choosing friction and inconvenience to break your brain’s default neural pathways for choosing the easy way out.
Honestly, I experienced this phenomenon even before knowing it existed. In the army, the only time I felt life slow down was over the weekends. Everything seemed more fun, more soothing, more meaningful, more vibrant – even a cup of tea was most satisfying. The constant tedium and non-stop discomfort in the army contrasted the slower, easier and calmer lifestyle outside. That was the point. Even the most mundane day felt interesting.
The Japanese Tea Ceremony
The Japanese have a culture of holding tea ceremonies to celebrate the present moment in each other’s company. Focusing on simplicity and mindfulness, the practice hinges on the principle of “ichigo ichie” – one time, one meeting – a reminder to enjoy the present moment.
Every tea ceremony is different, even if every cup of tea is made of the same tea leaves, by the same person, in the same manner, at the same time each day, in the same place. It is believed that no cup of tea is the same because there is only one cup of tea at the moment – the one you are holding.
It sounds almost philosophical (well, it kind of is), with tea being a metaphor for everything else in life. There is only one present moment at any point in time, and our job is to live the moment so that we create wonderful textures for our memories and lives.
Rather than living on auto-pilot waiting for the next thing, sometimes intentionally going out of your comfort zone and doing the less optimised, more inconvenient things is what you need to reset your mind.
It’s Okay To Change Your Life
For a long time, I struggled to accept changes to my evening routine. I followed the same schedule from 7.30pm to 11pm on weekdays when I was younger because that was my comfortable routine. When I started JC and entered the army, change was forced. There was no choice but to reinvent my routine. And from it, a newer, refined version of yourself emerges as you take on newer tasks, challenges and routines.
Letting go of the old routines was hard because it felt like cutting away part of my identity. I did not want to lose that part of myself which I liked. But this is when texture grows and adds to our lives. It’s okay to change yourself for a new phase of life – to create new textures in life. Without change, nothing new happens.
Sometimes the changes will be hard. When you start a new job, when you train for a milestone, when you experience bumpy relationships, when you feel lost, the list goes on. But everything adds to the narrative of your life story and the texture of your life.
Every version of our old self is like a friend that we create. Some day when we look back, I hope we think of our lives as chapters of adventures with different versions of ourselves being proud of who we’ve become.
To live a rich life filled with various textures is to embrace all the different versions of ourselves – and stay present with who we are now.
Click the arrows for other posts!
Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.
Teleport home below!
Enjoy More Serendipity Below!
