Quirkbag Collection #35 – 13.03.26
It’s been 51 weeks since I launched my website and started writing my blog, Quirkbag, this very thing you are reading now. 51 weeks. There’s plenty that has happened in this time, but most of all, it has given me a chance at seeing who I am. My thoughts, my reflection, my influences, my experiences and my lessons written into words here.
Throughout the weeks, I think I have grown (albeit slightly) from just a soldier, or former student into someone who has tried to think deeply and experience more of life. So I thought it’s a great time to reflect on the process of becoming, becoming me.
The Goal In Mind
We live in a very goal-centric world today. That’s a good place to deposit your focus, but cautiously, because it might end up being a black hole for your focus. Whether it’s personal to-dos, that desired exam score, that next cool thing to try or the dreary project task at work, external goals govern our daily lives. We live to complete checklists, often without believing in them. Yet, without completing them, we feel empty, as though the day was merely wasted.
I have experienced plenty of this feeling. From my schooling years to my army days and even now, when far detached from both, the residual effects of a goal-driven, outcome-driven life continue to linger. Keeping the goal in mind can be very frustrating because it forces us to regard any non-related injections or events as distractions. But that’s precisely when life happens.
If going to the gym 3 times a week is a goal that falls under the North Star of becoming healthier, does going to the gym twice a week make you an outright lazy failure? Objectively, no (but your mind screams ‘yes’ if you’re like me, blaming yourself to hit a higher standard). I should emphasize, the North Star is becoming healthier, not gym 3x a week or you lose a limb. Our obsession with sticking to goals, ironically, seems to work against the process of becoming better.
It’s not that skipping gym sessions every so often is encouraged, (you should avoid that, obviously), but that doing so sometimes does not diminish your North Star. The process of becoming (healthier, or otherwise) takes time, and no one is perfect. Blame won’t bring back that third gym session.
Goal-Driven Guilt vs Process-Driven Empathy
Yes, we love to blame ourselves for not sticking to the to-dos or the arbitrary goals. And for a valid reason. We have to do the work to become better or different. The dopamine hit associated with completing ‘goals’ is strongly tied to our self-worth. It feels ‘productive’ when we check things off a list, but who are we truly becoming?
To build a new habit, or train discipline, there’s every reason to stick to a plan or regime and possibly move heaven and earth to complete the tasks. But if there is a North Star, being aligned to it matters more than forcing every task to completion.
Goal-driven guilt is our own reminder to ‘be better’ and ‘do more’ in future. But in the last 51 weeks, missing a few Quirkbag posts has not steered me away from the North Star of documenting and sharing my thoughts and experiences.
I offer the idea of process-driven empathy. We are all in our timelines where we grow and learn in our lives at our own pace. Fundamentally, we’re different people. So why should we all use the same boring goal metrics to judge ourselves? Empathising with my own schedule constraints allowed me to understand why I skipped Quirkbag posts. Knowing that my North Star shined brightly nonetheless helps keep me grounded, even if I occasionally broke from the routine or the goal.
Clearly, we are in our process of growing and becoming ourselves. We have to embrace this process, our own progress, because a purely goal-driven life is a binary life.
It’s yes OR no. There’s no in-between. It’s absolute and dull. And that’s not life because we know life is a journey. Part of that journey is our process of becoming; our finding who we are.
Embracing The Process Of Becoming
We live also in a success-driven world, regardless of age, gender, race or background. We are taught to grow up and be ‘successful’, we are told that we should strive for ‘success’.
What does that mean?
It’s easy to be clouded by conventional markers of success. Money, fame, the vague ‘happiness’, health and whatever is trending on popular social media.
We forget that we are all on a journey, albeit a very slow one when judged from a day-to-day basis. String the years together and I think it becomes scary. You see if you really lived, if you really tried, if you really kept going despite hardship toward your North Star.
Embracing the process of becoming means accepting that it takes time to grow, to learn, to cope with the struggle and to step into the shoes of your better self. It might be years, even decades, but it’s your journey from one era of life to the next. And hopefully that’s someone you want to be, aligned with the North Star you chose to follow.
My Process Of Becoming?
I never considered myself a writer or blogger. But I thought it would be fun to try and see how far I can take it. Quirkbag has allowed me to imprint my steps of becoming over 51 weeks. Of course, not every new endeavour has been included. But for the most part, from books read, to vacations and random thoughts, I feel my own growth has been a slow burn. The process of becoming is slow, but it is shaping this chapter of my life. And I can see it has been marked by plenty of introspection and thoughts I share with you.
Here’s some of the unexpected reels:
I had the chance to travel with friends overseas for the first time.
I never thought I would dabble in latte art as an interest.
Never thought I would join random frisbee games for the fun of it either.
Sitting alone in the busy streets with the sunset really forces you to think about where your life is headed. It brings tranquility and a yearning for clarity.
Regardless of where Quirkbag goes, I am excited to see where my process of becoming will take me. And I hope you’ll enjoy the journey with me.
The one-year milestone post shall come next week…:)
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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this slightly off-beat, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself, who I am and what life has to offer before Uni starts. This blog is my little secret space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading. I do weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.
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