Quirkbag Collection #15 – 19.09.25
I am officially lost in my life. It was my suspicion, now it’s confirmed. I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. But it’s not entirely a bad thing. At least that’s what Jerry Seinfeld assures me.
Our search for purpose and goals in life is just about as common as cars with wheels (even Doc’s flying DeLorean had wheels). This simply means that we desire something more than what we have, to become greater than we are now. Being lost in life sparked a curiosity that drove me down a rabbit hole. I got into business and self-development books over many months seeking wisdom, knowledge and philosophies of life. So this is like my culmination of it all.
This is not going to be like those ‘advice’ videos on YouTube, because I am just like you, stumbling my way through time. And also because there’s so many of those.
Here’s a quick chart of what I have read about:
My Life Today (for interested people)
After Junior College, I enlisted in the military. Today, my time in service is coming to an end, a slow and bitter end. But, nonetheless, an end I have anticipated for as long as I remember. Ironically, it’s not the end that I think about now, but the start of literally everything else after that.
It’s so easy to hide yourself in the excuse of ‘I am getting through (phase of life). I’ll start doing (project) after this.’ as though life is currently on pause.
Surprise: it’s not! As much as we delude ourselves into thinking something is just in the way of our real lives, it is our lives. But it’s the way we are taught, moving from primary school, to secondary school, to pre-university and then university itself. Everything is a means to an end. To the future ‘life’.
Introducing…the Arrival Fallacy. It’s something I learnt from Ali Abdaal (he’s such a mentor figure, check him out!)
So this search for purpose and clarity in life is like a can of worms because now I can’t un-know certain truths. And the more I read and learn, the more there is to know and learn.
But at some point, I just have to start living. Everyone does. And that’s the trick, starting and doing it before you think you are truly ready because you never will be.
Behind The Illusion of Wealth
One of the best books I have read on creating wealth is ‘The Millionaire Fastlane’ by MJ DeMarco. And I don’t mean just hiding behind the illusion of wealth. There’s many types of wealth, yes, but for the most part, to create financial freedom, I have learnt the most from his book.
He described the reality of education systems and modern work culture so sharply that I cannot help but feel chills in my bones. It’s a bleak future. But he offers the perspective that many people search for, an escape. But there’s a price.
Knowing the price of the escape made me understand why it’s easy to follow the crowd and find the illusion of wealth instead. It takes willingness to fail indefinitely, to be mocked, to be afraid, to risk what we presently have and these go against everything we have been taught.
Success and greatness in financial wealth comes not from doing what everyone else does. And that’s the scary part. We rather extinguish the sparks of a dream than face the demons and monsters along that path. That’s the fundamental lesson from the books. And once I know it, I can’t unknow it.
If you have a goal, a dream, then knowing what it takes to get there means that every choice is either one step toward slaying the monsters or running the other way.
I don’t doubt you can achieve that lofty financial goal, so long as you really want it and commit to find out just how far you can go. Otherwise, ‘wealth’ is just an ideal.
Alex Hormozi says it here with much more punch.
Productivity vs Busy
Productivity is yet another myth debunked by books like ‘Four Thousand Weeks’ by Oliver Burkeman and ‘Slow Productivity’ by Cal Newport. Honestly, you don’t need many other productivity books because these share all that is worth knowing. We often shy away from the ‘Productivity vs Busy’ comparison. Because it is uncomfortable and not very ‘mainstream’.
Being lost in life is easily attributed to busy schedules at work. Your boss pays you to work (physical action, physical output) and feels uneasy when you internalise or think for extended periods (mental action, no output). Everything needs to be fast. Who cares about being intentional and deliberate in creating quality work?
It takes boredom and quiet pockets of time to really let our minds work, to maximise our brainpower. Thanks to modern technology, extensive digital interruption disrupts that process. Get back to it, listening to the quiet inner voice. Don’t worry so much about replying emails after emails without really moving the needle where it matters.
My discovery of this concept affirms that great work is done with great effort, energy and time, and often after many repetitions and failures. It is impossible to fail if you have one goal and a relentless pursuit toward it, no matter what it costs in time, energy and effort. That’s true productivity: moving the needle where it matters.
Happiness Is Real?
Happiness, like gratitude and success, is not a ‘to-do’. It also can’t really be one. What even is happiness? It’s not joy, not pleasure and certainly not an end. You don’t become ‘happy’ after doing something, at least that’s what the books find, but it sort of sneaks in when you least expect it. Just like you can’t force an emotion, you just feel it. You can be happy, you can’t do happy.
Those who constantly chase after success or happiness, being the elusive phenomena they are, don’t really get it.
Well, life is quite funny sometimes.
I cannot say I am ‘happy’, because I am discovering my definition of it. If you can, that’s great. Because now, when it comes along, you would know it. Happiness is, and always has been, such a human desire. One day, through some experience or realisation, I hope to discover true happiness, not the many fake ideals that falsely promise ‘happiness’.
Being lost in life places a new lens on the way I judge emotions. In school, I felt little else but the need to study. The hectic days compress time from months to weeks and weeks to days, with most days being rather identical anyway.
I am in a phase now, called ‘Liminal Space’, between periods of life where I get a ‘reset’ in perspective. It forces me to take stock of life, see life for what it is and not what the school or system taught it to be. Happiness was not found in this awkward gap in time, but it’s where I began to learn about it.
Happiness is worth thinking about, take a break from emails. You keep looking into the future for what’s next and soon the answer is the grave.
The Messy Thing Called ‘Life’
Life is messy. There’s too many things you cannot control. But there’s everything you can choose to do. Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think and Grow Rich’ is a book like blue cheese, it either divides or unites. Some say it’s the best book on success, some say it’s just scant philosophy.
Personally, it’s as ‘science-y’ as you can expect for a formula to be successful in life. Life is not perfect math, so why would the formula be perfect? The more digestible version of the book’s concepts is found in ‘Napoleon Hill’s Best Speeches’. Whether you find it practical, it is food for thought. Thank me later. 😬
Being lost in life, searching for my ‘calling’ (as cringe-y as that is), means trying and testing new and random things. And that has been fruitful across the months as I have read the best advice and lessons from books. Life is an adventure that no one tells you to try and enjoy. They tell you to ‘get in the hole’ and carry on with life.
Oh don’t worry, life will carry on, no matter what you do. So if you are like me, meeting life at the first of many major crossroads, learn from others and look ahead at where you are going, then choose your next step, one at a time. It’s scary to face infinite possibilities. Especially when it can change your life. But there is no hero and story without an origin and monsters.
Despite being lost in life, I thank William Henley:
“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul”
– Invictus, William Ernest Henley
But To Be Clear…
But to be clear, this is not a recipe for a wonderful, smooth and incredible life. If anything, it’s a hint at a tough, bumpy road toward a good life. I always remember this quote, again, from a bulldozer of an entrepreneur:
‘Just like we measure the quality of a blacksmith by the strength of his steel, I measure you by what you are at the end, not the fire and hammer it took to make you.’
I have written what I have thought. You will find that there is no step-by-step guide. These are books I have read that I find valuable and inspiring to break free from the system which brings people to ‘live the same 6 months’ for 40 years of their career with unfulfilled souls. In fulfilling a soul, I know it is worth trying and failing every once in a while.
I have included a list of books I find worth reading. They are at the end, because knowing the titles first can be distracting. I know very few people would bother reading them because they are ‘boring’ or not for an exam. But after all, it’s just your future at hand here.
For good measure, why not have one more quote? This one, I find incredibly timeless.
“If we are related, we shall meet.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
And if I may say so, through these paragraphs, we have met. Being lost in life is not all bad. In fact, it’s pretty good. Because for once, you get to pick your direction ahead.
If you have made it this far, thanks for reading.
Random list of well-arranged words that made invaluable books, which I recommend:
- Four Thousand Weeks (Oliver Burkeman)
- Deep Work (Cal Newport)
- Slow Productivity (Cal Newport)
- The Millionaire Fastlane (MJ DeMarco)
- Napoleon Hill’s Greatest Speeches (Napoleon Hill)
- Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill)
- 100M Offers (Alex Hormozi)
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