It’s drizzling. The carpark is gradually filled with random Singaporeans of varying ages all with the same purpose. They are here for a driving practical lesson. I was anxious. I was thinking about how this anxiety felt.
Driving a manual car means fiddling with a clutch and the gearbox. For my first lesson, this animated instructor said that ‘the clutch and the gearbox are brothers’ and they must work together.
Yes, I got the point.
But the big problem I faced, like many learners, is called ‘stalling’. This is when your car engine just gives up on you because of your absolute lack of skill. It’s telling you that you failed to control the clutch properly.
I stalled many times. In fact, I stalled more in my second lesson than my first. What a learning curve.
Now I know you’d think ‘I’m different’.
You think ‘I won’t have that problem’. Let’s find out when you sit and step on the pedals. ‘Stalling’ is practically a rite of passage when learning.
So why can’t you just drive off easily when you drive a manual car for the first time? Well, now you know. It takes more than a strong leg and a fast gearshift when driving a manual car for the first time.
‘Stalling’ Teaches You Something?
To fix this problem, the instructor told me to ‘love the clutch’. It meant to slowly and smoothly let the clutch pedal up instead of releasing my feet quickly, as is the usual instinct for beginners.
If you’re struggling with it, check out this British driving guy’s video below. Credit to my friend who shared this channel with me.
Credits: youtube.com/@ConquerDriving
See more of his tutorials and guides here. His instructions and explanations can help make your learning curve gentler and far less confusing. And who doesn’t appreciate a British accent?
Finding the biting point first is universally correct. That’s the way the car works. So releasing the clutch slowly, while counter-intuitive, is the way to drive off. So I told myself to release it SLOWLY.
And your guess is correct….I did not.
Somehow that is not an immediate correction. Your body and mind will not cooperate as one in the first or second lesson. I proudly told myself to release the clutch slowly, and proceeded to stall many more times despite it.
You will keep ‘stalling’ over and over as a pattern until your leg masters the control and sensitivity of the pedal.
But that’s normal. It’s called learning.
‘Stalling’ taught me that practice is probably more useful than knowledge when driving a manual car for the first time.
Driving Is Fun…Right?
Yes. Driving is fun when it is new, safe and interesting. (God forbid you drive like you’re playing Mario Kart. There aren’t any prizes here.)
Driving is one of those rites of passage that Singaporeans go through for some reason. It’s only getting more costly, but it is nonetheless popular.
As a passenger of a car practically flying at 100km/h on the highway, to drive at a ‘measly’ 10km/h in the training circuit feels awfully mundane.
Or that’s what I would have thought.
When you are driving a manual car for the first time, flustered with hands and legs all over the place and your mind unable to multi-task, 10km/h feels pretty damn fast. Driving is fun not because you get to drive like Lewis Hamilton, but because you get to think you can drive like him in a real car.
Learning to drive manual transmission cars forces you to learn the pace and pattern of the car. To ‘listen to the car’ as my instructor told me.
True enough, let the car’s performance guide your steering and speed can help you grasp how to control it. It’s a practice of judgement.
Driving is fun when you learn to control the clutch.
It’s fun when you learn to steer well and stop smoothly, like that chauffeur you had who was actually your sibling or parent. But it’s also fun when you pass the final Traffic Police test to get your license.
I’ll leave that to a later date when I cross that bridge.
Have a Break
Like a KitKat, have a break once in a while. It’s good advice when it comes to driving. But it also applies to life and work. I would also love a break from having such tough luck getting more driving practical lessons. Seriously, anyone taking practical lessons for driving would concur.
Driving is such a rite of passage that I won’t be surprised if the proverbial passage is now clogged with people.
Nonetheless, I shall continue to learn driving, and like what Ed Sheeran sings, I’ll simply ‘pedal down and drive’.
Anyway, I recently took a trip down south to Australia. Let me tempt you with Kangaroos and Koalas here. You know you want to see them.
I’ve been to Australia 3 times in my life. Once as a baby, of which I have no recollection.
Oops.
The next was when I was a kid, which I remember sand-surfing and dolphin feeding. But this, my milestone trip to Australia, is the freshest impression I have of the land down south.
Now for context, this wasn’t a vacation. It was a predominantly work-related trip, during which one day was reserved for some classic Australian-type experience. The trip marks the end of my service to the military and this chapter of life. It has been a lifetime jammed into 22 months. A milestone in both my life and this chapter, it earned a mention in my adventurous blog.
But if you’re wondering…yes, there are kangaroos. And koalas.
The Plane Ride… to Australia
Most people actively dislike plane rides. I absolutely enjoy the ride in the air. I had an empty 6h block of time when I could enjoy being present in the sky, travelling at 500km/h. And in-flight entertainment is always welcomed, even if the choices are ever so familiar.
Now I did catch ‘You’ve Got Mail’ for the first time on my departure. It wasn’t what I expected, but really, it’s a fun watch. (I slightly prefer ‘Sleepless In Seattle’…)
Most people also actively dislike airplane food. I think it’s a surprise to hear the menu when that once-elegant but currently scratched and janky mini-cart comes down the aisle. (It still pushes so smoothly though.) Usually, I’d go for something familiar-sounding, like ‘stewed beef‘ or a ‘western breakfast’. Anyone who has seen airplane food knows that there are fruits, bread, the main meal, and then the mystery item. That’s my favourite part.
The departure meal:
Airplane Breakfast
Inside the Meal
The Boring Work
For the sake of my sanity and readership, I shall not be describing the boring work. I shall task you to imagine 17 days of complete work. Your imagination of the work is as accurate as I’ll ever describe it. Yes, work and work.
Was there any significant moment in the blur of 17 days?
No…but yes. There was an occasional sunset (probably 2) that caught my eye as the sky faded into an enchanting blend of orange, pink and blue.
An honourable mention: breakfast in a canteen came with a choice of black coffee, milo and milk tea daily. Spoilt for choices here.
The Australian Adventure
Now, the one day of ‘vacation’ would seem incredibly wasted without seeing some of those well-loved native animals. So here we go with the furry mammals:
Kangaroo I Met
Koala I Met
The Australian Adventure continues with the many wildlife creatures in the zoo. I also touched a snake, held a skink, and saw many peacocks, goats and ducks. Plenty of wildlife for a day.
Blue Tongue Skink
Peacock at Rest
A Curious Goat
A Sneaky Snake
I still cannot believe how many peacocks there are. They seem like rare pokemons to me. And yes, those peacocks really live up to expectations with their feathers.
It would be criminal not to try a steak in Australia, and I am certainly not wasting this opportunity to have a steak.
Some Australian Beef
Thick steaks are just otherworldly compared to the local normal skinny steaks. And that mushroom sauce tasted of quality mushroom soup; it was pinnacle mushroom sauce.
No Confusion About Toilet Directions Here
I do appreciate some good Australian farm humour there.
The smoothest gelato I have tried is undoubtedly this:
Smoothest Gelato At Gelatissimo
It’s dangerously smooth because you’ll want another…after the fourth one.
Home Sweet Home
October 15, 2025.
Now, I must reveal the mystery element in my airplane meal on the return trip from Australia.
Braised Beef with CoffeeHaving a Break
Yes. It’s a kitkat. Not just the usual small one, but the generous bigger one! Fancy that.
It’s also fitting as it seems to tell me ‘have a break’ as if it knows I am returning from a milestone trip.
For those that actively dislike plane rides, where else can you find a view like this?
The Sunset From Above
At some 60000 ft in the air, everything else really seems to fade away. And it’s you, your thoughts and the beautiful endless horizon you can only glimpse at from below.
It’s serene.
Being away from home for weeks can feel lonely once in a while. But some moments I’ve had on this trip with others showed me how absence can make the heart grow fonder. It adds a layer of depth to the gratitude and appreciation I have. The experience lasts a lifetime, and with it, this chapter comes to an end.
They say a window opens when a door closes.
Another chapter would begin in due time (and I’ll probably add it into this blog as part of the adventure).
It started as a movie starring Noah Wyle as the inconspicuously intelligent and charismatic Librarian. No, not the dull guardians of books from high school libraries. His role is to protect the world from the misuse of magic by finding and storing ancient magical relics inside a mythical library that exists separately from Earth’s dimension. Pretty cool stuff, I know.
“The Librarians” captivated me because of the adventure and lore it explored. They brought to life the stories of Old Kings and Gods, mixing myth and history. I couldn’t have been older than 13 when the show left its deep impression on me. They had a Minotaur and a flying Excalibur! (I am fully aware that may sound dorky.) But most importantly, the show led me to think and imagine greatly, to deeply visualise the stories and feel as the characters do.
For those who feel deterred by their dearth of knowledge about ancient relics and myths, fear not! The storyline is only partially driven by these details, and there is much more to the show. And maybe, it’s even more interesting to learn about them this way. The key to the show is its ability to incite thoughts of possibility and imagination around the everyday things we see and probe at your ‘reality’. The reason and emotions are real, even if the magic isn’t.
What if there’s a super squad of chosen individuals who secretly tread a line between our world and one of magic to ensure balance? Just imagine.
The Next Chapter. Literally.
“The Librarians: The Next Chapter”, a sequel to the original movie and TV series, was released a few months ago. And yes, nostalgia hit me in the face.
That was very hard to ignore. It brought back all the good times I had, or as people like to say, ‘when times were simpler’.
Indeed it was.
A 13 year old me, or younger, was bestowed with the idea of adventure after watching the show. An idea that has since grown subconsciously into a subtle urge. I had that feeling in my gut, that creeping urge to live and work for adventure to ‘save the world’. Of course, there is no Librarian job that keeps the peace in the world (or is there?). But we can all dream.
No one grew up wanting to be just a keeper of old books in a school or public library (even enigmatic architecture has limits right?) and that’s what made the idea of such a job so enticing to me. More than that, it’s that idea of adventure, seeking what the world has to offer for good, and giving back to it. Seeing the new sequel reminded me of the same ideals that the original series introduced. That familiar friendship between strangers, the loyalty that grows, the becoming of an ordinary person into a Librarian.
When the new faces were introduced, it felt like the first episode of the original series again. But, as many fans do, I miss the old team, nonetheless, so the Jacob Stone cameo with dear Excalibur was a delight. The writers probably knew they had to include them or else it just wouldn’t feel right. But having Jacob act now as the mentor that Flynn once was made an endearing full-circle moment.
What “The Librarians” Really Means To Me
I really enjoy and love the magical aspects of the show. From visiting Shakespeare to seeing the Loom of Fate and finding the Sword in the Stone, the epic adventures are poignantly thrilling. Emphasis on poignant. Yes, you might be familiar with this literary term.
The poignant theme treads consistently across the seasons as the team faces troubles and hardship. The tough times are exactly what I think elevates the show from a simple tale of heroism to one about strongly bonded guardians of magic.
The connection (ahem love interest) between Flynn and Eve has always been hinted at from the start, developed rather awkwardly and hilariously over the episodes. There’s something cathartic about seeing their love stand the test of life (and magic) and blossom as the outcome, rather than simply that it exists from the start. They were two similarly lonesome individuals, great at their jobs, being brought together by the Library.
Having been on their many adventures as an audience, and relating to their situations, I see “The Librarians” as a story to imbue the virtues of courage and faith: courage to right the wrongs in the present for a greater good and faith that what we cannot control is not always to our detriment. Any audience can benefit from the virtues and stories told throughout the seasons, the same way I have. Taking in these lessons, apart from the fun of the show, would help guide young minds toward serving the right cause. At least I can imagine it does.
The Final Chapter
It’s a tough and possibly lonely job as a Librarian (both the mythical and practical one) as we learn from Flynn in the early movies. Even Vikram Chamberlain, the Rogue Librarian, says it is ‘ a lifetime of mystery and misery, of loneliness and adventure, but most of all, a chance to make a difference’ in the season 1 finale of the sequel. This is all but what one needs to understand of the primary job as a Librarian. And for some, it is a lifetime well spent.
Imagine, as I had, if you could pepper your life with the same adventure, perhaps not while saving the world from magic, but with a job in which you see purpose. What would that be?
Imagine the possibilities of your life, if well dedicated.
See the past thoughts I had by clicking the arrows!
I am officially lost in my life. It was my suspicion, now it’s confirmed. I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. But it’s not entirely a bad thing. At least that’s what Jerry Seinfeld assures me.
Our search for purpose and goals in life is just about as common as cars with wheels (even Doc’s flying DeLorean had wheels). This simply means that we desire something more than what we have, to become greater than we are now. Being lost in life sparked a curiosity that drove me down a rabbit hole. I got into business and self-development books over many months seeking wisdom, knowledge and philosophies of life. So this is like my culmination of it all.
This is not going to be like those ‘advice’ videos on YouTube, because I am just like you, stumbling my way through time. And also because there’s so many of those.
After Junior College, I enlisted in the military. Today, my time in service is coming to an end, a slow and bitter end. But, nonetheless, an end I have anticipated for as long as I remember. Ironically, it’s not the end that I think about now, but the start of literally everything else after that.
It’s so easy to hide yourself in the excuse of ‘I am getting through (phase of life). I’ll start doing (project) after this.’ as though life is currently on pause.
Surprise: it’s not! As much as we delude ourselves into thinking something is just in the way of our real lives, it is our lives. But it’s the way we are taught, moving from primary school, to secondary school, to pre-university and then university itself. Everything is a means to an end. To the future ‘life’.
Introducing…the Arrival Fallacy. It’s something I learnt from Ali Abdaal (he’s such a mentor figure, check him out!)
So this search for purpose and clarity in life is like a can of worms because now I can’t un-know certain truths. And the more I read and learn, the more there is to know and learn.
But at some point, I just have to start living. Everyone does. And that’s the trick, starting and doing it before you think you are truly ready because you never will be.
Behind The Illusion of Wealth
One of the best books I have read on creating wealth is ‘The Millionaire Fastlane’ by MJ DeMarco. And I don’t mean just hiding behind the illusion of wealth. There’s many types of wealth, yes, but for the most part, to create financial freedom, I have learnt the most from his book.
He described the reality of education systems and modern work culture so sharply that I cannot help but feel chills in my bones. It’s a bleak future. But he offers the perspective that many people search for, an escape. But there’s a price.
Knowing the price of the escape made me understand why it’s easy to follow the crowd and find the illusion of wealth instead. It takes willingness to fail indefinitely, to be mocked, to be afraid, to risk what we presently have and these go against everything we have been taught.
Success and greatness in financial wealth comes not from doing what everyone else does. And that’s the scary part. We rather extinguish the sparks of a dream than face the demons and monsters along that path. That’s the fundamental lesson from the books. And once I know it, I can’t unknow it.
If you have a goal, a dream, then knowing what it takes to get there means that every choice is either one step toward slaying the monsters or running the other way.
I don’t doubt you can achieve that lofty financial goal, so long as you really want it and commit to find out just how far you can go. Otherwise, ‘wealth’ is just an ideal.
Productivity is yet another myth debunked by books like ‘Four Thousand Weeks’ by Oliver Burkeman and ‘Slow Productivity’ by Cal Newport. Honestly, you don’t need many other productivity books because these share all that is worth knowing. We often shy away from the ‘Productivity vs Busy’ comparison. Because it is uncomfortable and not very ‘mainstream’.
Being lost in life is easily attributed to busy schedules at work. Your boss pays you to work (physical action, physical output) and feels uneasy when you internalise or think for extended periods (mental action, no output). Everything needs to be fast. Who cares about being intentional and deliberate in creating quality work?
It takes boredom and quiet pockets of time to really let our minds work, to maximise our brainpower. Thanks to modern technology, extensive digital interruption disrupts that process. Get back to it, listening to the quiet inner voice. Don’t worry so much about replying emails after emails without really moving the needle where it matters.
My discovery of this concept affirms that great work is done with great effort, energy and time, and often after many repetitions and failures. It is impossible to fail if you have one goal and a relentless pursuit toward it, no matter what it costs in time, energy and effort. That’s true productivity: moving the needle where it matters.
Happiness Is Real?
Happiness, like gratitude and success, is not a ‘to-do’. It also can’t really be one. What even is happiness? It’s not joy, not pleasure and certainly not an end. You don’t become ‘happy’ after doing something, at least that’s what the books find, but it sort of sneaks in when you least expect it. Just like you can’t force an emotion, you just feel it. You can be happy, you can’t do happy.
Those who constantly chase after success or happiness, being the elusive phenomena they are, don’t really get it.
Well, life is quite funny sometimes.
I cannot say I am ‘happy’, because I am discovering my definition of it. If you can, that’s great. Because now, when it comes along, you would know it. Happiness is, and always has been, such a human desire. One day, through some experience or realisation, I hope to discover true happiness, not the many fake ideals that falsely promise ‘happiness’.
Being lost in life places a new lens on the way I judge emotions. In school, I felt little else but the need to study. The hectic days compress time from months to weeks and weeks to days, with most days being rather identical anyway.
I am in a phase now, called ‘Liminal Space’, between periods of life where I get a ‘reset’ in perspective. It forces me to take stock of life, see life for what it is and not what the school or system taught it to be. Happiness was not found in this awkward gap in time, but it’s where I began to learn about it.
Happiness is worth thinking about, take a break from emails. You keep looking into the future for what’s next and soon the answer is the grave.
The Messy Thing Called ‘Life’
Life is messy. There’s too many things you cannot control. But there’s everything you can choose to do. Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think and Grow Rich’ is a book like blue cheese, it either divides or unites. Some say it’s the best book on success, some say it’s just scant philosophy.
Personally, it’s as ‘science-y’ as you can expect for a formula to be successful in life. Life is not perfect math, so why would the formula be perfect? The more digestible version of the book’s concepts is found in ‘Napoleon Hill’s Best Speeches’. Whether you find it practical, it is food for thought. Thank me later. 😬
Being lost in life, searching for my ‘calling’ (as cringe-y as that is), means trying and testing new and random things. And that has been fruitful across the months as I have read the best advice and lessons from books. Life is an adventure that no one tells you to try and enjoy. They tell you to ‘get in the hole’ and carry on with life.
Oh don’t worry, life will carry on, no matter what you do. So if you are like me, meeting life at the first of many major crossroads, learn from others and look ahead at where you are going, then choose your next step, one at a time. It’s scary to face infinite possibilities. Especially when it can change your life. But there is no hero and story without an origin and monsters.
Despite being lost in life, I thank William Henley:
“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul”
– Invictus, William Ernest Henley
But To Be Clear…
But to be clear, this is not a recipe for a wonderful, smooth and incredible life. If anything, it’s a hint at a tough, bumpy road toward a good life. I always remember this quote, again, from a bulldozer of an entrepreneur:
‘Just like we measure the quality of a blacksmith by the strength of his steel, I measure you by what you are at the end, not the fire and hammer it took to make you.’
I have written what I have thought. You will find that there is no step-by-step guide. These are books I have read that I find valuable and inspiring to break free from the system which brings people to ‘live the same 6 months’ for 40 years of their career with unfulfilled souls. In fulfilling a soul, I know it is worth trying and failing every once in a while.
I have included a list of books I find worth reading. They are at the end, because knowing the titles first can be distracting. I know very few people would bother reading them because they are ‘boring’ or not for an exam. But after all, it’s just your future at hand here.
For good measure, why not have one more quote? This one, I find incredibly timeless.
“If we are related, we shall meet.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
And if I may say so, through these paragraphs, we have met. Being lost in life is not all bad. In fact, it’s pretty good. Because for once, you get to pick your direction ahead.
If you have made it this far, thanks for reading.
Random list of well-arranged words that made invaluable books, which I recommend:
Four Thousand Weeks (Oliver Burkeman)
Deep Work (Cal Newport)
Slow Productivity (Cal Newport)
The Millionaire Fastlane (MJ DeMarco)
Napoleon Hill’s Greatest Speeches (Napoleon Hill)
Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill)
100M Offers (Alex Hormozi)
Enjoy more serendipitous Quirkbag thoughts by clicking the arrows!
Quest for Coffee (12) | 3 Life Lessons I Learned From Making Coffee
This quirky endeavour of mine to learn to brew coffee and learn latte art has taught me some unexpected lessons and nudged me into having a slightly different perspective on life. Here are 3 life lessons I learned from making coffee, lest we get too lost in life.
1. The Process Is The Destination (Lest We Forget)
Making coffee is a process, one that many treat as a means to an end. The process is an art, a hobby, a morning routine, but also an atelic activity. In my teenage years (not too long ago) when life revolved heavily around school, academics and studying, coffee is a must. And I mean, a must.
But I rarely had time to sit and enjoy the coffee, let alone with a friend. I never “had the time”.
We never do, do we? Until it’s too late.
Grateful For The Coffee (Somewhat)
I drank my coffee but didn’t savour it. I was grateful for the coffee, but not for the chance to enjoy it. And really, what is coffee if not for enjoyment?
The beverage stall in my secondary school canteen used to sell iced coffee (kopi peng) at $1. Yes, those were the days. I distinctly remember being quite the regular customer because I liked it.
But as the months went by and my schedule became busier, it just became coffee which I drank.
It’s so easy to overlook the small but meaningful things we put in our lives, especially when we have “work”. If we drank coffee either way, why not enjoy coffee instead of chugging it like it’s bitter herbal medicine?
My free time spent learning to pull espressos and making coffee showed me that the process itself is worth enjoying as much as the final drink. A hectic student life can easily lead to neglect in the little things and moments, like the simple coffee-making and coffee-drinking joy.
The process is far longer than the outcome. Making the coffee is longer, more tedious and more difficult than drinking it. But it does not make it any less worth doing, at least for those who appreciate coffee. The start and end of our coffee matter far less than the process of making and drinking it. Because the process is where we live.
Enjoy the process. That’s the real gold. The outcome is only a mere moment that reflects the process. Back then, (2 years ago) on my last day of school, I knew I would come to miss the coffee in that canteen. Now, it is wistfully true.
2. Quality Effort is Quality Outcome
When it comes to making coffee, the higher quality beans used would give a corresponding quality of coffee made. But a trashy barista can do a great disservice even to the best coffee beans around. Our world is a fast-paced one, speed is of the essence because everyone has something to do and somewhere to be. Yet, we can barely explain what it is we are doing and how it adds value. This is called “pseudo-productivty”.
This is where a quality barista stands out from the seemingly mundane and homogenous background. The barista, to me, not just brews great coffee but elevates the experience. It is also a corollary tenet of founding Starbucks.
With quality effort behind the scenes, from handling the beans to making the final drink, joy and pleasure in the coffee-making process is passed onto each cup, whether it is for yourself at home or in a cafe.
Quality In, Quality Out.
From carefully weighing the beans to grinding, tamping, then pulling the shot and seeing the honey-like espresso flow smoothly, it is oddly satisfying in each step.
Quality effort in brewing espressos at home becomes an artful form of joy. This is joy derived from being engaged in a meaningful activity. Good coffee is worth all the effort and wait, isn’t it?
A Valiant Attempt At Pulling A Tulip
But I find this principle applies universally to life. In relation to the idea above that “the process is where you live”, an intentional and joyous process seems to inevitably lead to a similar type of outcome. Think of it as “going through the motion” versus “understanding and being present in each motion”.
There’s more than a subtle difference.
In life, this principle applies to the simplest of things, from making coffee to choosing a career. How is the quality of effort behind each action and decision? Just like hastily made coffee for the sake of chugging, rash and low-quality decision-making and actions reflect little to no effort. I shall leave you to imagine what type of outcome this would bring.
Making coffee at home taught me to put great effort into each action. This brings out the joy in the brewing process. More importantly, it shows just how great effort given can yield wonderful outcomes.
3. The World Is Bigger Than I Thought (But No Matter)
There are so many coffee-lovers in this world. There are slightly fewer coffee blogs around. And then, even less coffee content being related to life lessons. The coffee world is bigger than I thought when I had started this journey. From espresso to drip coffee and more, it seems endless.
I started this coffee blog because I wanted to be adventurous and document something new which I am learning. No matter how terribly bad and inexperienced I am. “Difficult” would be putting it mildly if I had to discuss the technical and professional aspects of coffee. But “easy” would be an understatement if I had to relish in a cup of well-brewed coffee.
This blog and knowledge of coffee I have gleaned taught me that the world has much to offer from all those that tried and came before me. Before us.
What About Us In The World?
But even if the world is so big, it doesn’t always mean there isn’t a place for us. For me and you.
In the coffee world, everyone is entitled to the choice of making and enjoying coffee. This is true regardless of whether your neighbour prefers tea over coffee. Joining this coffee world is like seeing a new part of the world, a part that would not have been accessible without first wanting to explore coffee.
Keep chugging coffee for the sake of it and live to never enjoy it. The world is bigger than I thought because it has more knowledge on anything than I had. Embrace it the immensity of it all, or at least try. Because I know I am. Or I’ll live to be overwhelmed by the immensity of the world in everything.
Coffee is a staple of life. A joy, a relief, a habit and many more to so many people. It is also an instrument through which you can perceive life and learn life lessons.
’Heroes. It’s an old-fashioned notion.’ If you are a hardcore Marvel movie fan, you would recognise this quote from the trailer of ‘Avengers: Endgame’ (2019) way back then. It feels like ‘way back then’ even though it’s been 6 years. I recently thought about the influences in my life and how I became me, as I know it, and I found a lot of it was tied to the people I looked up to as heroes. The mature and more cynical ones would dismiss this as just the inevitable phase of ‘hero-worship’ in most young people’s lives. Maybe it is, but it sure is not all that trivial, not to me.
I look up to my heroes, real and fictional, but they don’t get chosen easily. It’s just like making friends I guess, picking those who really make you feel like you can be better. The very purpose of a hero for me is to be the quiet voice in my mind that pushes me in the correct direction when times are hard, or when I face problems in school or work.
Particularly when times are hard, the voice grows louder and I know I can live through it. A moral voice perhaps, to guide my choices. My heroes have always shown me hope and light when times are dark and tough, as any worthy hero should. Because they hold the virtues and values I admire, their silent and imaginary guidance in my mind nudges me ever so slightly to be more like them. To live up to them, in a small and personal way.
My Heroes
As a kid growing up watching movies and television, many of the fictional characters became heroes who strongly influenced my life. (The jury is still out on whether this is for the better; I hope it is)
Some of my heroes, who are included here, continue to inspire me to slowly become someone I am more comfortable being and liking as a whole.
No, there is no perfectionism included.
Jerry Seinfeld (both real and fictional Jerry)
Jerry Seinfeld, the master of small things in life and the star and writer of the epic sitcom ’show about nothing’. ‘Seinfeld’ as a show really shifted my perspective on life. I mean, all the stress and the thought about preoccupations over work as though it might be the end of the world were flipped upside down. Their biggest problem was once about being to the airport on time for pick-up. Not a bad change of scenery from endless meetings?
The official and very recognisable “Seinfeld” logo
I find Jerry puts a lot of the human in ‘humanity’; the silliness, the mistakes, the jokes, the relationships and the endeavour to try and master something in life.
I watched an interview once where he said he writes jokes everyday, not to create good ones but to maintain and hone the skill of writing it. There is much I take away with me in terms of perseverance and patience from him, and he inspires me to keep going and going one joke and one day at a time.
Harvey Specter, Suits (2011 – 2019)
I first watched ‘Suits’ in 2021 as entertainment during the pandemic. Little did I know what inspirational value it would give me. When I struggled to keep studying hard, the idea that one could bend reality by being intelligent and relying on oneself to master skills again shifted my perspective. It was elegantly and beautifully manipulative, and always for the right reason in the end.
Suits (2011 – 2019), Season 1 Poster
Like many teenagers, I made rather few good friends from school since I just didn’t like the same things. When I tried to go at new things and problems, coping with school work and all, having the idea of Harvey Specter really boosted whatever strength I had.
I’ve always found the steel and toughness in Harvey’s character to be charismatic. He makes ends meet in any situation, although with some hefty price tags and sacrifices. But it also highlighted to me the need to be tough when times call for it. Afterall, I doubt I would fare well in school if I didn’t spend large amounts of time preparing and studying; a case in point of price tags.
“You can get more than you have because you can become more than you are.”
– Jim Rohn
Warren Buffett
Legendary investor aside, Warren Buffett is someone who held onto virtues that lasted him a lifetime. I admire his great patience. He knows exactly what he wants from a business he analyses and simply waits for the conditions to be right before taking swift action. Patience, again, that saw him through years of waiting. No words can do justice to his patience, but his investments and Berkshire Hathaway can.
Patience is something that requires little more than inactivity. Yet, most of us honestly pale in comparison to him. Sometimes I feel I can barely wait for trains to arrive, or for the internet to load (oh so many of us are guilty of this). This burning desire for instantaneous results has taken over.
The moral courage that he also has to do what he knows and believes in, despite all the noise and chatter around him, continues to be valuable to me. Increasingly so for that matter. It’s so easy to just follow the trend, be ‘part of it’ than not and fall prey to ‘FOMO’. I honestly can say I have always been secretly part of ‘JOMO’ (Joy of Missing Out), because it means I can truly spend time and focus on those things that matter. In Buffett’s case, keeping his investments and coming out ahead of the ‘popular crowd’. In my case, it’s doing this blog. It’s making the unpopular decision to keep going and trying to discover the depths of my being. And maybe a better person emerges.
To stand your ground and stay true to your own belief is a trait of a hero who goes against all odds, again, for the right reason. We could use more of them in a far more volatile world today.
Tony Stark, MCU (2008 – 2019)
You would think Tony Stark is another popular choice, and maybe for the wrong reason. Iron man as a superhero is marvellous, indeed, but it’s the person I admire more.
When I think of Tony, I think of Pepper and Peter. From that arrogant and selfish weapons dealer to a universal hero, he grew into someone who placed others before himself. I always remember the line from Iron Man 3 (2013) that a ‘threat is imminent, and I have to protect the one thing I can’t live without. That’s you.’ A far cry from who he was. A sign that for the right reason we can become better. A push towards becoming the Tony he was when he chose to try a long shot at saving Peter.
Of course, he shouldered a burden that probably no one in real life does – the fate of the universe. But we all have responsibilities, one way or another. Tony never stopped doing what it took to protect and save his people and the universe. And we could learn a thing or two about tenacity and humility.
A little sense of duty would see us through some tides of challenges in life or work. You might call it ‘doing your job’. Sometimes it’s really hard, trying to figure out what to do and how to do it, but this is where the quiet voice comes in.
And I keep going a little more for my goal.
Heroism and Leadership, Altogether Now?
Heroes can be leaders. In some way, the very recognition of them being a ‘hero’ to others, inspiring emulation of their behaviour from others is already leadership.
Yes, fictional heroes are fictional, but as a hopeful child of movies, I find that more of us should try and live up to them. While we may fail, I doubt it should do me much harm in trying to embody the values they do. To one day be an amalgamation of those who inspired and influenced us positively is to then repay the favour forward by embodying those same values. It would be a worthy endeavour.
As always, I love ending with a quote. The one that comes to mind is a line from Theodore Roosevelt, a former President of the United States, in his famous ‘Man in the Arena’ passage.
‘…if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…’
“Man In The Arena” by Theodore Roosevelt
More of us today could learn to embrace the slightly forgotten benefits of modelling after our heroes. Building courage, patience and tenacity, all that good stuff we talk about and have little of. And the world would be that bit better.
I know I would want to be more like my heroes. Would you?
I recently read the book “Four Thousand Weeks” by Oliver Burkeman and it transformed my original idea of time management and productivity. Several of the concepts raised in the book forced me to confront the limitations we, as humans, have. And I realised that it is only after facing these underlying assumptions and truths that I get a more accurate picture of life and time.
The book itself is a mirror and a spotlight. It reflected to me the habits I (and most of us) have when it comes to poorly spending time under the illusion of ‘efficiency’.
Reading the book made me think a lot about the meaning of it all – our jobs, lives, choices.
What do we really define as important? What is deserving of our time?
It’s easy to write down everything we want to do and then fail to do it, thinking we simply ‘need more time’ or be ‘more efficient’. But unless you really can justify those tasks in life, you might find in your heart that most of them are pointless and trivial anyway.
My Time In The Past
As the stereotypical Singaporean student, my time was spent studying and little was spent on much else, because this concept of ‘time management’ was unheard of. Rather than saying that studying is unimportant, it should not be life-consuming. (Perhaps learning is a better alternative.)
It might start sounding like an existential crisis. But in fact, it’s the opposite. The mindset shift in how we spend our time begins with questioning how our time is spent. We do not have forever.
As Emily Dickinson phrased it, ‘Forever is composed of Nows’, and indeed, all we have is the moment now.
Right now.
Well, I start university soon. And I sure hope this lesson travels with me (and you) forward in time. Rather than being busy, I will try to be productive. It’s easy to be busy, but all too hard to be productive. When I studied for A levels, perhaps a decent chunk of time was spent being busy rather than really being productive.
Regardless of age, this idea of time management is one that applies to all of us, humans, because we are all finite.
How Do We Spend Time?
Maybe ‘what is the meaning of life?’ is the wrong question. More specifically, ‘how do we spend time?’ illuminates our lives better.
Once the latter question has been asked, it leads to the perennial paralysis-inducing problem of choice.
“Our lives are the sum of our choices.”
Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning (2023)
No line better sums up life as a whole better than one of my favouriteime from Mission Impossible. It holds a special place with me.
The centrality of this idea in life has more credit than we give it. Denying and avoiding the truth that we will never accomplish everything nor experience everything creates a false sense of control over our own lives, distracting us from facing the finitude of our time.
Delaying the choice makes us feel like we never have to make it, as though our time never runs out.
But it does.
So what then if we have limited time? Ironically, it simply means we need to have better time management: choose to spend time on what you really consider important and eliminate all other tasks. This includes those tasks, particularly these ones, which are not worth pursuing yet seductive enough to distract you from your top priority.
Yes, easier said than done. But once done, it is far easier and more relieving than you might think.
Time management is not cutting up the hours to fit an insane number of tasks from the never-ending to-do list.
It’s the exact opposite. It’s cutting the number of things from that list and putting them nicely into the time we do have – four thousand weeks, on average.
It’s time to let go. (I keep thinking of this great scene when I see this sentence.)
Let go of what banal, trivial matter you used to meddle with. Start living for yourself.
Living Meaningfully
Embrace your temporary existence. Start choosing what to do. And the only way to start living meaningfully is to accept the opportunity cost in every choice you make.
It is inevitable.
The deliberate choice and intentional use of time give meaning to our lives spent.
Fear not that time has not been used doing other things, because there are an infinite number of things you can do! Just take heart in the things you have chosen to do because they are meaningful to you, in the moment.
This is not a protest against planning for the future, but a relief towards constantly being paralysed with “not knowing what to best do with time”.
Choose.
To conclude, I couldn’t think of a better way than this:
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to decide what is worth your time and dedicate time to it for a meaningful life spent doing things you care about. (Most of us will self-destruct in four thousand weeks😏)
Quest for Coffee (11) | How to Pour Latte Art: Failures
This week’s update is dedicated to my effort that has gone unrecognised in magical designs but nonetheless contributed to my improvement. My journey in learning how to pour latte art has led me along a whole string of failures.
A. Whole. String.
There’s Failures and Failures and Failures
There have been far more failures in this Quest for Coffee than there have been successful latte art magic designs. If you have been following this Quest, you’d know just how tricky this latte art magic can be.
But it made me believe some truths. Truths that I never really thought were real but just things people said:
Success is not linear.
Progress is not linear.
I lived through the failures and the successes. Each latte art design was poured by my own hand and each one was every bit as magical and wild. Many of them were not “latte art magic” and more like a lab experiment gone wrong.
But all of them, failures or not, were great coffees.
Sometimes my hand would deliberately create something halfway wonderful. Other times I get a brainfart and some thick blob-like, magical mess happens. I have realised that it is all part of the process of learning and mastery.
Like I mentioned last time, the whole latte art design is a composite of different pours. The whole design may look like spilled paint, but a small part of it could have been great. Maybe it was the base of the flower, or the fully-filled body of the heart, or that last pour to finish off the bottom tip of the heart.
I write this not just to document my journey in this quirky Quest for Coffee, but also to prove that trying in itself is the only step toward success in any endeavour, magical or not.
There have been many many times when I have been discouraged because of one cup’s ugliness. Sometimes it’s 3 cups in a row. Progress was dismal and slow. I didn’t know if I would ever get anywhere. Ever.
As past me would soon realise, the one cup of failure means nothing. No latte art magic this time, eh, no biggie. I’ll try again tomorrow. And again the next day. And again, and again.
To you, my past self some 4 months ago, using a junky coffee machine that couldn’t steam milk, and to you, my future self who may be learning and struggling in some other Quest, I want to humbly remind you that progress and success comes slow and will never be linear.
So take heart (no pun intended).
You have achieved growth and progress in this journey to create some latte art magic. It’s far from over, but you have proven that you can do it.
And this is proof. At my expense.
Slide
All The Magic Gone Wrong Part 1
None of these cups of coffee was wasted in the practice of latte art magic
Slide
All The Magic Gone Wrong Part 2
None of these cups of coffee was wasted in the practice of latte art magic.
How to Pour Latte Art?
To the many ugly cups of latte art magic gone horribly wrong, I thank you for your teachings.
There will be more failures to come in this Quest for Coffee. Many more cups of failure await. But many other cups with wonderful magical latte art designs await too.
How to pour latte art?
Well… keep pouring your heart and soul into it and never stop.
Quest for Coffee (10) | 5 Ways to Improve Latte Art Magic
Latte art magic is aesthetically potent and incredibly mesmerising, and I most certainly want to improve my latte art magic skills. I thought about how my magic strengthened over the last few months. Here are my 5 recommended ways to improve your latte art magic.
If you are new to my Quest for Coffee, welcome! But where have you been??
I know you probably haven’t tried doing this, but practicing latte art magic is hard. Once you’ve nailed the espresso shot and the milk steaming part, you’re in for the final boss of the game.
It’s the ‘make it or break it’ part – the pouring.
Without silky steamed milk and luxuriously dark espresso shots waiting, there’s little chance of pulling off some crazy latte art magic.
Anyways, if you are ready, here are my 5 best ways to practice latte art magic in my journey so far:
1. Break Latte Art Down
Break down the whole design into various parts. It’s counter-intuitive to break apart the well-crafted and enchanting design, but to learn, you have to see them as individual ‘strokes’ of your ‘paintbrush’.
Confused? Every pour you make is one stroke of a brush. These strokes add up quickly to form your magical design.
For a basic leaf or a flower design (they can be quite misleading sometimes), there are 3 main parts: the ‘base’, the ‘wiggle’ and the final ‘stem’.
The base is your foundation when you create the bottom part of the leaf/flower with solid white milk foam. Your spout of the pitcher must be close to the surface. Pour a controlled volume of milk quickly before then narrowing the flow of milk.
In the second part, the ‘wiggle’, is where the cool brown and white wave-like pattern occurs. Pour a smaller amount of milk than for the ‘base’ while swaying your pitcher from left to right in a stable manner.
I panicked once and my hand shook, which led to uneven patterns on the left and right sides of the design. Uncontrolled magic! This pour should be several seconds long to really drag out the pattern.
Of course, you can choose to pour a fully-filled white heart shape too and skip the swaying.
The ‘stem’ binds the whole lead/flower design together. Pour a narrow but continuous stream of milk from the top of the leaf down the middle and to the edge of the cup. Do not hesitate. I hesitated before and it led to wobbly and curvy stems. Uncontrolled magic again!
As you move from top to bottom of your design, the pitcher should move upwards, with its final position higher above your cup than the position at which it started.
2. Latte Art Needs Restraint
Stay restrained. Work with restraint. Do not give in to the internal pressure to pour quickly like those pro-looking magical baristas.
Speed of pouring comes naturally. My pours in each phase of the design required different strengths and finesse over the pitcher, which you can only learn through experience by feeling and doing.
This takes control, not speed. I had to restrain myself from pouring all my milk quickly to create absolutely nothing.
If you need a pause between the phase of the design, take it.
Usually, I would pour the base first, make sure I got the white base formed first and lift up the pitcher. After that, I would begin the next pour to create the wave-like pattern. I usually remind myself to leave enough room in the cup and enough milk to pour that final thin stream for the “stem”.
3. Intentional Practice
Nothing beats intentional practice.
To try and try again in spite of all the failures to master that one “stroke”, be it the “base”, the “stem” or the “wiggle”.
Sometimes, in each practice cup of coffee, there may be a really solid “base”, or a cool and stable wave-like pattern, or both!
It takes many tries to perfect all 3 “strokes”. My results were and still are lacklustre when it comes to the “stem” (just see below) but there are improvements in the “wiggle” and the “base”.
It may not all come together at once. It has not for me. But that’s normal because every latte art magic design has several parts and “strokes” to it that requires great finesse.
Stay resilient and keep pouring with intention. Keep reminding your mind and hand to act intentionally with each pour and not pour under psychological pressure 🙂
4. Be Messy
You ever see those pro baristas with their magic latte art design while looking cool and calm, with no spills in that nearly-overflowing cup of coffee?
I am the guy with all the spills, errors and shaky hands. I literally dragged the side of my milk pitcher along the surface of my design because the pitcher was that close to it that they were in fact in contact! Just see this wing-shaped distortion of a design:
A wing-shaped latte art design
Suffice to say, that was not very magical.
But it’s ok to be messy and spill some milk and coffee over the counter when pouring and learning. I realised I was not tilting my espresso cup enough as I wanted to avoid spilling.
This meant I had a smaller surface area of coffee to practice my magic, and it made it much harder for the spout of the pitcher to be close to the surface of the coffee.
Just go for the tilt and the pour despite being inexperienced.
Don’t be afraid to drip some milk on the counter when trying that long final pour for the “stem”. It’s fun to just try.
5. Study Your Magic Latte Art Design Closely
How would you know which part of the pouring to work on? With the different “strokes” and breakdown of the whole design, you can start nitpicking and decide which “stroke” or part you want to focus on.
To do so, you have to start examining the weaker spots in your own latte art design.
I started trying to work on the “wiggle” and the “stem” more because I always panic once the cup is near fully filled.
Through taking pictures and intentionally practicing each “stroke” in each cup of coffee made, I saw how my hands shake and how I usually panic toward the end. It is far more important to know what to practice pouring than simply pouring.
Try taking a bunch of photos like me and track your own progress. You might see the improvement trend and you would have documented the whole journey of mastering latte art magic. Wonderful!
Bonus – 6: Read Coffee Blogs like Quest for Coffee
I said there were 5, but here is a bonus way to improve: just read coffee blogs and learn from other people. Sneaky but smart, no?
Now, I have read several coffee articles and many of James Hoffman’s videos. It takes knowledge and practice to attain mastery, especially for something as tricky as latte art magic.
Not only do you need a slow and delicate hand movement to control both the cup and pitcher, it also takes courage and patience to keep trying despite poor results.
Seeing how other people have done it and mimicking their movements to fit my comfort has helped with creating my own style and rhythm of drawing and creating my magical latte art design.
I hope that sharing my progress and providing 5 ways to improve your latte art skills can help you in your mastery. The road ahead in my Quest for Coffee is still long.
But for now, here’s the latest leaf/flower:
The latest latte art magic design – a curved flower
Happy Belated International Friendship Day! The actual date is 30 Jul. The celebration of International Friendship Day is less dramatic than one might expect since it celebrates almost every single individual. That’s around 7 billion people.
To all the people who are friends of other people, this day celebrates your importance. You matter.
International Friendship Day was assigned a value by the United Nations on July 27, 2011, as a symbol of friendship. More importantly, it promotes peace, understanding and unity across peoples and nations.
Yes, unity, a concept whose tangible benefits the world could greatly use.
A fragmented modern world stems from pent-up tensions left unaddressed due to differing ideologies and a lack of mutual understanding. Humanity as a common denominator has been erased from our minds. Unity, understanding and peace even seem like afterthoughts.
It is precisely why a common denominator – friendship within humanity – is ever so important. We tend to forget who we are, what we represent, and who we can be because of the drivel of modern society.
Take a moment. Absorb the reality of being human – fundamentally fragile and yet unusually tough – as we keep going through life. Some people call this mindfulness. Others call it gratitude. It could be both.
This seemingly gimmicky, cult-like activity of taking a moment to practice gratitude or mindfulness shifts my frame of mind. My mind opens up to embrace the present moment and all of my friendships. It’s probably impossible for most of us to be where we are without the friendships we have made along the way.
Having friends to see you through it all makes it more bearable. And just maybe, it makes the world a better place.
Symbols of Friendship
Do you remember friendship bands? I never made one of these in my life. It always felt like such a “cringey” and “childish” activity as I was growing up.
Do you need a friendship band to validate a friendship? Hardly. On second thought, maybe you do if you are 7 years old. For the rest of us, friendship ties people who meet and live through common experiences; in some odd cases, the difference in experience might be the gravity that pulls people together.
I think of the many pairs of pen pals around the world who may have never met in real life but trade life experiences through regular correspondence.
Friendships come and go, and some last a lifetime, but all of them are valid for their very existence proves a genuine bond between people.
The bond was real.
Not because of the friendship band, but because of the shared experiences. The friendship band is merely a token of that bond.
For some, the shared memories become the proverbial friendship band, unforgotten so long as these memories continue to be relevant and relived in our minds.
My “Friendship Band”
Duolingo’s Spanish lessons consist of a section on food, one of the examples is orange juice, or “Jugo de Naranja”. As I learned and practiced the pronunciation, I kept repeating it to a dear friend. Quickly, it became the fad.
It dominated our conversations for weeks. ‘Jugo de naranja’ was a pet phrase, constantly repeated. We found it hilarious to react and respond with the same random phrase like it was some greeting. It was simple. It was our ‘thing’.
Jugo de Naranja Jugo de Naranja Jugo de Naranja Jugo de Naranja Jugo de Naranja Jugo de Naranja
Currently, I struggle to remember why something as random as “Jugo de Naranja” was a running joke. Still, we look back, almost with a third-person perspective, and smile with a sense of appreciation for that period in our friendship. Nostalgia comes close to describing it.
It was never about Spanish lessons, orange juice, or Duolingo. It was about us – two people laughing over a small, inconspicuous phrase. That was our way of bonding.
This silly phrase was one of many tokens in this friendship, evidence of a bond well-forged, pieces of a phase in our lives. “Jugo de Naranja” is not what made the friendship. Quite the opposite, it is the friendship that oddly gave comedic value to a mundane phrase.
What Is Friendship, Really?
Friendships are strange connections sometimes. I’ll be the first to admit that not all friendships are equal. They can be “long-distance” friends you meet once in a while in a different city, or they could be people you see at school or work every day. They could even be former rivals or competitors, someone you hated but developed a relationship with.
Sounds like something from the movies, doesn’t it?
But if you really thought about it, every friend was once a stranger you decided to reach out to. Sometimes, we find a stranger that we decide is worth keeping in our lives, despite (or maybe because of) their quirky habits or funky fashion sense.
Before you know it, they win your heart over and you start accumulating random silly moments. Yet, these fleeting moments, which may now be cringe-worthy, have value. Gradually, the little moments form a string of memories supporting the friendship.
How do you define a friendship?
If you figure that out, let me know. Let the world know because I’m quite sure countless people ponder the definition. The worldly metrics that measure what is quantifiable fail when it comes to emotions and matters of the heart.
How could you quantify a “best friend”? Gut feeling?
Sort of, maybe.
The solution is vague and hard to describe, but yet oddly accurate and universal. Historical context aside, I present the words of Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart as a personal friendship metric:
“I know it when I see it”.
– Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart
Conclusion
I like to think every friendship has its own ‘jugo de naranja’ moments in time. These moments could have been so subtle that friends overlooked their presence. Rare but vital, these moments tweak and shape the course of the friendship over time. Today, they are better friends because of it.
I want you to take a moment and think of your own friend. It could be your best friend, old friend or childhood friend.
What was your ‘jugo de naranja’ moment? Celebrate the very bond between you by reminding each other of it and having a good laugh.
