Quirkbag

Author: zacyeohs@gmail.com

Our Wanting In Life
Quirkbag Collection #58 – 06.09.26

“What do you really want out of life?” is a pretty scary question to stare at. Wanting things has become such a normal and large part of our lives that we begin to want things without knowing why. We just want. Sadly, the answer to this question is usually a blank face, followed by the perennially common answer – “money”. Are we really wanting the right things?

Philosophy and stoicism give us some hope in navigating this question. I used to believe philosophy was a pretentious way of being educated. But stoicism, at least, provides some utilitarian comfort. One of stoicism’s lessons is that we should learn what to want based on whether it is the right thing to want. That’s wisdom. And some of us yearn sorely for it.

On Wanting Money

It is hard to fault anyone for wanting to be rich. Afterall, we grew up slowly being brainwashed that money equals everything else we want in life. But that is not entirely true. Beneath the surface, money provides little non-material substance to life. The richest people are not the happiest, healthiest or most well-lived. They simply enjoy more luxuries and convenience than anyone else.

For some, wanting to be rich is a by-product of habitual sub-par life choices. Avoiding premium, higher-end items, services or experiences and going for the lowest cost, less than basic options gently primes the mind to want more money. Most of us grew up without learning to build a healthy relationship with money, and we are subtly influenced to see money the way our grandparents did – with a scarcity mindset, unfortunately. Times have changed.

Growing up, most Singaporean families I know of adopted this approach, with the occasional exception. Of course, under dire circumstances, this makes sense. But through the lens of a life well-lived, scrimping over every last cent is not exactly the pointl. Or at least I doubt it should be. For most of us, we don’t actually know what we want, so we default to wanting more “money” – an enabler which we know having more of is a safe bet.

Rather, what needs greater emphasis is that money is a means to an end, and not the end itself. In the end, we want to be rich because we want the security and ability to afford a certain lifestyle we find “ideal”. I would want money to create a life rich in texture.

The problem is, we kill ourselves trying to meet “ideal” and wind up emotionally and mentally enslaved by money, or the lack thereof.

On Wanting Wisdom

There’s a particularly gut-wrenching irony about wanting wisdom. The trade for wisdom is our cumulative experiences, painful and hard ones at that. Yet, it is the very thing which removes the burden of most common people. So logically, it seems that wanting wisdom means wanting more struggle. Strange, but true.

Stoicism imparts that wisdom is knowing what is what and when to do what. It is judgement, discretion, but mixed with restraint. The presence of wisdom pays an invisible dividend – and it never ends, but instead grows with wisdom.

We observe this cliche in modern culture. Wisdom is always portrayed by some old Sensei with white hair, wearing a cloak older than time itself and having a disposition seemingly larger-than-life. Let this not confuse you to think that wisdom is reserved for old age. Wisdom is not a function of time, but a result of life. It just happens that it takes time as life unfolds.

Where does that leave us? Can we honestly obtain wisdom before we grow grey?

Perhaps. “In the mild light of philosophy” is a phrase I picked up from Ryan Holiday’s book “Discipline Is Destiny” from the stoic series. It reminds me that philosophy is a reliable lens to use when considering our daily troubles, that what seems disastrous is merely disproportionately so even if it feels like the sky is falling. A first step in nurturing wisdom.

We may not obtain volumes of wisdom, but learning about others’ experiences and stories can go a long way. Choosing wisdom means a life of calm, restrained decision-making under your control and judgement, barring the opinions of others. More importantly, it leads us to find our own peace, with enough time.

On Wanting Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. By far the most popular wish made on birthdays, anniversaries, 11:11, 12:12(?), and other arbitrary moments, happiness is that elusive golden snitch. But can you define happiness? What does it really mean?

Like money, happiness is the next most vague thing to want. It is a safe and politically correct thing to want. Indeed, how else would we want to live our life? Miserably? Undoubtedly, the debate of whether money brings happiness rages on. (We secretly know that money only gives security but stops short of fulfilling the “good life”.)

The pursuit of happiness is perhaps harder than that of money. Money can be seen, happiness cannot. Money is concrete, happiness is not. We cannot neatly pack happiness inside a box because happiness is less of a feeling than a state. We don’t feel comfortable when we sit at our dining chair; not unless we compare that to squat sitting against the wall. Similarly, I doubt that happiness is an obvious state, unless we compare it to another.

So how do we know if we are happy? Well, the easiest answer is you don’t. At least not at the moment. Happiness is different. We only remember being happy in the past, with retrospection mildly tinted by nostalgia and wistfulness. But what about now?

Stoicism informs us that practicing gratitude and negative visualisation can help us appreciate our circumstances more. But beyond that, it is in knowing that we will not get the present moment or phase of our lives back that we must make the most of it. The sum of our life experience is less about how well we do, but how strongly, or even happy, we feel at the end looking back.

On Our Wanting

For a very long time, I believed ‘wanting’ to be bad. It’s one of those stereotypical Asian beliefs that gets adopted subconsciously by virtue of the surroundings. Wanting is, if anything, the very reason why we pursue anything. Wanting more is why our life moves forward. It is exactly why we live in apartments and not caves. Modern society tricks us into having mimetic desires – “fake wants” – invented for the interest of others.

Wanting is human. The pursuit of more without sacrificing your own identity and values is good. Find what you really want. Just remember, wants become regrets if you are not careful.

“It’s the oldest story in the world. One day you’re 17 and planning for someday. And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”

~ Nathan Scott, One Tree Hill

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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September 6, 2026
Friendships Amid Life’s Serendipity
Quirkbag Collection #57 – 30.08.26

6 years ago, I just got Netflix for the first time. Back then, I had no clue how much my life would be shaped by the characters and stories there. So much of our lives are shaped by forces we cannot see, by decisions we forgot we made, and by the hands of serendipity. If there were a way to experiment and observe life, we would learn just how much serendipity occurs.

But I guess the closest we will get is season 3 of “The Good Place” (which honestly is good enough for me).

What Are Friendships?

Not all of us are part of a 6-people friend group who often gathers at a cafe under our apartment in the city of New York. Not all of us have a loose cannon oddball jester in the friend group called Kramer either. Most of us have to squeeze our calendar to meet old friends from different phases of our lives, let alone to meet new people and make new friends. Of course, consider yourself lucky if you have a standing social meet up regularly. But realistically, have we been overly romanticising friendship?

What defines a friend is completely subjective. Is it someone you always talk to? Someone that you text everyday? Or is it someone that you share a flat with? What about best friends? Or are there just friends in a group?

Friends are like books. The more you have, the more space required. Eventually, you run out of space and time to store and fully relish in them. Fortunately, books’ value lie not in their volume but in the life-changing substance they offer. The best friendships are the ones that give you hope; that offer you solace when the world fails to provide; that lights a small candle flame in the dark night. It can be someone to sit silently with, being present in the moment.

The Beginning Of Another Friendship Starts With A Moment Shared

If anything, friendships are not collectibles. It’s easy to look at classic sit-coms and wish we all had friends like Friends. Indeed, how fun that would be. Reality can be brutal when it comes to friendships. Without tending to (newer) friendships like a small fire, a gust of wind is all it takes to extinguish the friendship. Before we know it, what we thought were (strong) friendships are just people we used to know.

What Does It Take To Hold A Friendship?

With the few treasured friends we have, how do we keep them? Surely, we cannot let serendipity have its way with a budding new connection or one that has borne fruit.

Friendships used to be easy in Primary school. You sat next to someone and if you both played the same video game, the same sport or took the same school bus, you made a new friend in a week. You would meet daily in class, and the friendship blossomed.

I used to get the advice that “secondary school is where you make life long friends”. But that comes with a caveat: if you choose to lean into serendipity. The older we get, the more control we have to seal ourselves off personally and emotionally. We no longer bond as freely as we did as kids. Without leaning into serendipity and connecting with someone new, there will always be a perimeter around you distancing yourself from others. If you so choose, no one makes it past the perimeter. Slowly, superficial connections fade and drift into the abyss.

We wonder what happened to those “friends” we used to talk to. Especially as an adult, proximity is an advantage we no longer have and school, believe it or not, is a luxury platform we no longer belong in. We are on our own, with serendipity.

These days, friendships take up energy, like most relationships do. But hopefully you picked the right people so the relationships give more energy than they take. They say the best relationships take work. Indeed, it takes work to prevent the forces of reality from pulling people apart, just as these same forces created your one-in-a-billion encounter. To hold a friendship requires mutual effort and both sides need to recognise this.

Serendipitous Friendships and Their Fate

Imagine you meet someone the way Kate Beckinsale did in Serendipity, just by sheer chance of picking the same glove as another stranger. Setting fiction aside, we tend not to notice the way serendipity occurs in our lives. Sure, we call “luck” at play, but really, they are but two faces of the same coin. We all experience serendipity and it nudges our lives in a slight direction. But one small nudge can go a long way, as Serendipity shows.

Serendipity is a quirk of the universe. It holds us in its palm, waiting to subtly influence us. The magic, however, lies in whether or not we take action after knowing about its presence. What do we do once we learn the odds are stacked against us? That the chance encounter might be once in a lifetime? People in our lives come and go. The truth is we never really know who are ones that will stay for a long time, until that long time has passed. Suddenly conversations revolve around key words like “those days” or “back then”.

The ironic part about serendipity is that we have to play the cards we are dealt and yet, we barely get to choose what happens with those cards. We wish we could secure friendships with the new people we meet, to seed friendships into fruition. But in reality, the most we get is “Hello” and “Bye” – “Hi-Bye” friends. These are the ghosts of our friendships from serendipity.

Setting aside the feasibility of maintaining huge numbers of friendships, one can only imagine how much more diverse and interesting life would be if we experienced just a fraction of all these serendipitous connections. We never know where we would end up just by the friendship with one new person.

The Tapestry of (University) Life

Our lives take funny turns. You never know when you might meet a new person who would become someone important. The tapestry of life is just that – a series of coincidences interwoven with our actions to create our experience in this world. Of course, we choose our actions and we decide our direction. But all that happens in the context of an environment hardly of our choosing. The rest that comes along is serendipitous and a lesson to be learnt.

University is a great place to meet new people. It is a very exclusive and special phase of 4 years when being a “student” confers some unique advantages. People see potential in you and invitations to events are plastered. Committees are open to applications, communities need members. Social circles overlap like lunar eclipses, except far more frequently. Serendipity is at an all-time high should you choose to lean into it.

The culture is such that you never know who you might meet at any point in time, doing something you never thought you would be doing. It is anyone’s guess where that would lead you in life if you let serendipity broaden your horizon. Again, only if you choose to drop the perimeter and lean into it.

Perhaps the greatest twist is that serendipity can work its magic over years. What might appear trivial today could be the very experience you draw on years later. A reunion with someone you have yet to meet might be in order 15 years from now. Reconnecting with someone you met last week 10 years later might set your life in a new direction. For all the people we never meet, or the serendipity we never had, we just might deny ourselves the fine tapestry life has to offer.

Friendships Age Like Fine Bordeaux

Not all wines are created equal, everyone knows that. Friendships are not all created equal either. Sometimes, we come to the end of a friendship’s lifespan (and yes, regrettably so). No one knows when that might be, but an amicable goodbye (or until next time) is a friendship well-lived.

For the lucky ones, we have best friends, friends of decades. These are friendships that have aged like fine wine, growing stronger and deeper than ever. And yes, once in a while we look back and think “it’s been a long way since…” Nostalgia is a good sign of a long-lasting friendship. Like a good book, it changes your life and you always go back to it.

Just as how fine wine is not fine because there is an infinite source of it, a friendship’s beauty is not in its immortality. Instead, it is knowing that friendships will not be forever that makes every moment spent, every experience shared and every story told all the more precious.

The beauty of friendship is in the being.

It is fate that we met; it is up to us to make the most of it.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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August 30, 2026
On Life’s Infinite Opportunity Cost
Quirkbag Collection #56 – 23.08.26

My second week in university just ended. Time truly flies and with it go our lives. I used to think 4 years was a long time. Secondary school felt pretty long back then but feels like 10 minutes in my memory. Recently, the 4 years in university has begun to feel like a really short period. With the countless opportunities readily available, the possibilities are endless. Precisely so, the opportunity costs to every decision and commitment are monumental. How could anyone choose just a few things to try and do, when you feel so compelled towards so much else?

Enter decision-making. Enter the one-way doors. Here lies the conundrum of having options. There is a bittersweet illustration of this from Sylvia Plath in the metaphor of a fig tree.

The Fig Tree Of Life

Before introducing this (somewhat) classic piece of text, I should say I am no literature expert. I do, however, appreciate the deeper sentiment behind the words, as all humans should.

Sylvia Plath wrote,

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
From “The Bell Jar” by Syvia Plath

Every fig represents a potential future we choose from.

We cannot escape the reality that indecision is a decision. For better or worse, reality unfolds mercilessly regardless of our intention and in it, we get only to choose our own responses. Having options brings benefits only to the extent we exercise those options. In merely keeping the options open, but never really using them, we might as well never have had them.

Going Fig-Picking

The idea behind the whole fig tree is that we all have infinite potential that begins to wane as time passes. Obviously, the struggle to fulfill all possibilities is futile. Being human, we have to accept that our short lives are the sum of several figs which we picked. There is a beauty in seeing a fig tree blossom, and some might extend that to the withering of a fig tree.

We cannot choose how life finds us. But I would like to believe we are walking our own way to find some future version of ourselves; a version we aspire to be, look up to and be satisfied with.

Seizing opportunities can sometimes resemble catching chickens. One in hand is better than two in the bush. Of course, finding out what opportunities are worth pursuing is part of the challenge, one that is complicated because we cannot pick all the figs in the tree. Deciding to pick, and then picking, is by definition living your life.

Part of this process is deciding which figs are worth giving up. We are told more often in modern society that we should challenge the limits. It sounds great in theory, but when the rubber meets the road, reality distorts much of what we expected. Choosing to fulfill our potential in one domain to become some finer version of ourselves includes accepting the trade-offs and opportunity costs of not fulfilling another potential in a different domain.

We cannot have our cake and eat it too, at least not at the same time.

A Paragraph From An Article On Medium: Credit

Some paths in life are mutually exclusive. But you can take these paths in succession. You can always try it for a season and revert back, unless you chose a one-way door. In that case, pick the fig well.

Juicing A Fig

In deciding which path to take, or the person we want to become, we eliminate every other alternative. The opportunity cost has been incurred, but hopefully in return for the fig we have chosen – the most important thing right now.

Yet, since our choices are so limited, it seems natural that we should maximise every available opportunity or option to fully “juice the fig”. How could we not juice it dry? How is that fair to the alternate versions of ourselves had we chosen other figs?

We will never know our true potential. We only know we get one shot at life, no do-overs. Does it not sow the seed of regret should we half-ass something we know we had the chance to make successful? Do we not owe it to ourselves, and even the world, to become that finer, if not finest, version of ourselves in that particular fig?

Seizing The Moment To Enjoy The Plane Ride; Life Always Feels On Pause At 30 000ft

Juicing the fig is practically all art and no science. It merely takes a gut feeling to know when we have pursued the endeavour, or juiced the fig, till the end. And if we get there, we can move on to the next fig knowing it is not to be regretted. Perhaps that, stacked over a lifetime, is a life well-lived.

Reconciling The Mess Of Everything All At Once

I was reminded, quite poignantly, that it is almost guaranteed that we will graduate with a degree from university and that it is what we choose to do beyond that in our 4 years that defines our experience. Beyond that degree, the world is our oyster. Beyond that degree, there is who we are as a person.

It is logical to conclude that we should only focus on the one or two possibilities we really want in our lives rather than fret over the infinite “ifs”. And yes, there is an infinite number of “ifs”.

Indeed, figuring out who we want to be and what steps to take towards it sometimes feels like driving with a blindfold on. But spending time thinking without trying becomes paralysis. More realistically, it is easy to get overwhelmed by the gritty details and tentacles of the current problem that we get bogged down into the weeds, forgetting the whole fig tree.

University is not all sunshine and rainbows as one might romanticise. The problems are hairy and the pressure can (and perhaps has) create diamonds. It can be torturing, soul-crushing, slow and grimy, and even takes our last bit of energy to pull through. And so it is easy to blame and hate the circumstances. But it is not the end.

Perhaps we owe ourselves the reminder that “this is not the part of our life that should feel miserable”, even if it sucks right now. I know I do, especially in university. There is no worse injustice I can do to myself than treating an opportunity like a punishment. It is one thing if the system drives us up the wall; it is another to drive ourselves insane chasing an arbitrary phantom goal to win an unwinnable game.

An Ode To Gratitude

There are countless times when I asked myself if everything leading up to this had been worth it. All the studying and sacrifices that created my current life trajectory. Truth is, we would never know what the alternative is like because we cannot run experiments. Now that I live some version of a “happily ever after”, the past feels easy to write off.

One thing we all feel is that there is more we should achieve. That the grass is greener on the other side, no matter how green ours is. With this comes a burning sense of yearning and inferiority, even jealousy, of others living our opportunity costs and “what ifs”. But again, there are infinite ifs.

Stoicism teaches us gratitude by imagining our lives to be worse than it is now, almost like a cruel way to gain perspective. We may not have everything we want. And we never will. But maybe we do have everything we wanted 5 years ago.

And that, perhaps, is encouraging enough to keep going while learning to be content.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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August 23, 2026
Starting University Life As A Freshman in NUS
Quirkbag Collection #55 – 16.08.26

The long-awaited “D-Day” finally came. University classes began this week. What supposedly seemed like “an eternity” of freedom (the last 8 months) now feels like a flash of a second. The blog started as a means of finding myself, who I want to be and who I can be. While I wish there was a clear answer that I can neatly wrap up with a bowtie, life’s answers are never that way.

Reality Hits Like Cold Water At 5am

You know that feeling when something feels distant, far in the future, until it suddenly hits? Right as reality sinks in, your mind just gets defibrillated. If you have been doused with cold water in the wee hours, it feels almost the same. You cannot believe everything that just happened. Or, in my case, everything in the 8 months that is now over.

I still remember the first day of freedom after leaving the army. It was strange being a civilian again, not having the same weight on my shoulders. Now, it is incredibly strange being a student again, after 2.5 years.

Starting university does not feel real. It feels like a myth, some lore spread through word-of-mouth. There is a surreal atmosphere to being in “that phase of life”. It just sort of happens, and then you only realise it when the bucket of cold water hits you.

A Very Iconic University Picture – Inside Packed Lecture Theatres

That bucket has landed. I am now in that phase of life.

University Life – Adjustments Are Required

I major in Industrial and Systems Engineering – a niche few have heard of and even fewer who truly understand it (that excludes me, the undergraduate actually taking the degree). I also have campus accommodation, which makes heading to classes more convenient.

For those who have lived independently from their home (mainly the guys who served NS), living on campus feels oddly familiar, albeit being more comfortable. The rest that have not may experience some “home-sickness”, a small issue that shall be eclipsed by the academic and non-academic tasks and activities.

Outdoor Movie Night With Free Supper – Student Life Stuff

Besides a whole new system through which lessons are scheduled and timetables created, the biggest consideration to be had is transport. Going to different locations on different days (which changes based on even/odd weeks) will become a new headache. Unlike secondary school or JC, teachers no longer enter your class. Everyone moves around like a massive game of musical chairs – not particularly fun under the hot sun. Once you have planned your commutes, you will then need to consider meals – to eat, to skip, to cook, to buy. No one is giving you reminders on that.

Adjustments to the new way of life is required, not to mention for studying. However, I would not recommend taking advice from a 1-week old freshman on how to study for university courses. You have been spared from reading that would-be nonsense.

On Being A Freshman at NUS

Last week I woke up at 6.30am when on campus, partly due to my low-quality sleep. I prepared to have breakfast early, so that I can head to the gym earlier in the day before working on the academic burdens.

Heading into university can feel like taking a step onto the moon. It’s uncharted territory, and as always, filled with whispered rumours and myths. Most of them are twisted recounts, the rest are fiction. University is definitely complicated, a maze of opportunities and mirrors. But perhaps what is not mentioned enough in those romanticised content is how confusing and uncertain things can get.

Your emotions are tied to the level of your understanding of the university system, and it can be a roller coaster. Not knowing how to navigate the system and the 4 years is incredibly frustrating. Attend orientation camps for your ease of transition. Being a clueless freshman is painful enough, isolating yourself adds fuel to the fire.

Being a freshman, and I do suggest reading this with a pinch of salt, is the kind of scary that you will reminisce about when you are a senior facing graduation. The world of university is probably far less scary to a freshman than the real working world is to the graduate. (I don’t doubt there shall be a post on this in 4 years should I continue with this blog.)

Surely, this is the time to explore and figure out the kind of university life you want. There is no better time to try than as a freshman, and I suppose no better time than now. As the last real checkpoint before the “real” working world, the opportunity to live and explore is about as precious as one might imagine.

Is University All People Make It Out To Be?

Romanticising university life is a tradition upheld by the surge of well-edited YouTube vlogs. Is it real? Yes, they are, but only for them. Will your experience be more boring? Yes, but only if you compare it to their lives.

Everyone’s university life is different, even those taking the same degree or major. One of the biggest differences between university and the rest of formal education is the autonomy of creating your own experience. Opportunities and events are bombarded at you, waiting for you to pick. Everyone’s life looks different, and your choices shape the university experience. It may not be as glamorous (depending on which university) as they romanticised, because you are likely not a YouTube content creator.

Being In A Typically Crowded Canteen During Lunch Peak

I wish university life guaranteed romanticised fun and adventure. Life would be easier sitting through a programmed experience. But so much of it is shaped by our choices. More accurately, university life is the platform for that fun and adventure.

Looking Back; Looking Forward

We look back to our younger school days, pining over the “simpler” life. But maybe we need a reminder that we do have the “simpler” life today compared to 5 years from now. Despite the fear that things are overwhelming, that I might crumble under the chaos, a small part of me knows that this is the best of schooling life; one to be lived to the fullest.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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August 16, 2026
Are You Truly Living Freely?
Quirkbag Collection #54 – 09.08.26

“The Shawshank Redemption” gave us a line by which we all ought to live:

“Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.”

We have moved on from that age of racial segregation; their cars are now vintage. But that line still remains classic.

When I started this blog, the biggest driving factor was documenting my thoughts and experiences before school starts again. It meant to push me to “get busy livin’”. Well, school starts next week and I never thought I would be looking back at my time so quickly.

But there is something to be said about using this frame as a lens through which we make choices. If something fails to add to your life, or merely eats your time, then really, it is pushing you to “get busy dyin’”.

How free are you, really?

Has Your Life Begun?

Ramit Sethi has this theme about living a Rich Life. A Rich Life is one that aligns your money with your goals and life values, guiding you to spend freely but intentionally rather than haphazardly. Most people don’t do this.

There is a good chance that most of us are living a lie. We live someone else’s expectations of us, and not who we would like to be. Most of us are tied down by our reality – commitments we no longer want, relationships we performatively maintain, old habits overdue for correction. We have patterns in our lives because that’s the only life we have known; the one we were raised with.

Besides the essential life commitments (caring for family members, paying bills etc), there is a whole other chunk of life waiting to be lived for most of us. Yet, we don’t see it because we have never thought to ask what life we really want. Again, it’s easier to put our heads down and “get on with it”.

It is not about throwing caution to the wind or dreaming lofty ideals far detached from reality. Being realistic remains fairly significant. Rather, are you choosing to maximise your free will (which some humans historically did not have) in your life? Or are you sleepwalking through life being resistant to changes for the better?

Where Do You Feel The Most Free?

There is a unique and incomparable feeling of catharsis that some of us have when we are in certain places. These places soothe and recharge, and just temporarily, everything else in the world fades away. For beach-lovers, maybe it’s walking along the shoreline and hearing the waves crash. For others, it’s watching sunrises and sunsets, or the horizon itself.

The Horizon From A Mountain In Zhangjiajie

One of my favourite parts of travelling is being in the airport before departure. I love being in the airport and boarding the plane (this is largely because I depart from Changi airport). Seeing all the listed flights heading to all parts of the world brings this sense of freedom and possibility to life.

There is vast potential in the blank space of our future, the time not yet spent. The only question is how we will align our lives to feel the most free, the most fulfilled and the most at peace.

Parkinson’s Law At Scale

Dare I propose a thought experiment.

Imagine Andy, a boy with dreams of skydiving. As he grows older, this dream slowly recedes to the back of his mind to free up space for more current problems. School, sports, relationships, money and more. Without constantly reminding himself of his dream, life’s banal routines take charge. Andy graduates and works a full-time job.

With the gift of the third-person perspective, we can easily advise him to save up and pursue his skydiving dream by taking a trip and never looking back. But how far are we willing to take our own advice to pursue our neglected dreams?

What disguises as “reality” is our imaginary excuse to settle for mediocrity. Should we ignore or procrastinate what we want out of life, life will take what it wants out of us. Afterall, it is easier to stay where we are than risk what we have for something we kind of want. It is always easier to say “next year”.

Extrapolating our procrastination due to the available time left, Parkinson’s law works at scale, with our lifespan being the time horizon. We delay what we want to do because we can “always do it in the future”. But our future runs out. Unless you are Tom Cruise, it is unlikely you are skydiving solo at 60.

We can delay doing some things (say, going on a cruise), but others like hiking Everest or skydiving, they can only be done in certain periods of our lives. Once gone, these periods of life will never return, and with them goes certain life experiences. So instead of waiting, we might as well take the next available opportunity.

Your Best Life

Comparison is the best way to view progress, and the easiest way to feel inferior. Worst still, some of us tie our self-worth or identity to these things we have or do. Our society and economy easily perpetuate the false association. We buy into the belief that we must always “be the best or go nowhere” and we kill ourselves trying to “be the best” without ever knowing why. We chase arbitrary approvals and success, only to be unsatisfied.

Money is undoubtedly vital to living comfortably in any city, but somewhere along the line, we have accidentally linked it to our success in life and a measure of our self-worths. The numbers in our banks do not equal points in our lives that we can somehow cash out. While we need money, it hardly represents a fulfilling life, let alone the best life for you.

To some, all shiny jewels and gems in the world still remain a distant second to a good book and a cup of tea. There is as much to life as we believe there to be, whether it is the value of enjoying a book or otherwise. Your best life is what you discover to be truly freeing and fulfilling, regardless of how simple it may be.

Part Of The Three Gorges in China; This Year Is As Good As Any For A Visit

Is it a walk along the beach? Or is it slowly backpacking around Europe?

We are free. Our time is finite.

So “get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’”.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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August 9, 2026
What It’s Like Writing A Blog
Quirkbag Collection #53 – 01.08.26

On 21 March 2025, my very first post on Quirkbag.com went live. It was my introduction to the world of blogging and content creation (aka my thoughts). I never expected to ever write a blog, especially since I hated essays in school. But here we are. According to Wix, there are over 600 million blogs today, this is one of them. It is a fantastic stroke of luck for you to be reading this.

So what exactly does it take to write a blog? Well, not much apparently, at least on the surface. Of course, everything included is just my personal experience. On the flip side, if I can do it, you can too.

Getting Inspirations or Ideas

Writing a blog is neither easy nor hard. It’s all arbitrary and dependent on the blogger.

Quirkbag.com started because I wanted a place to spill my brain noise and be authentically strange. There are no “rules” or commercial purposes that dictate the content or topics, except for the theme of serendipity. Consequently, all the posts thus far reflect the experiences or thoughts I had at that point in my life.

The lack of a conventional niche is intentional.

More niche-driven blogs, like Ramit Sethi’s, or established ones like Tim Ferriss’ and Cup Of Jo, take a whole lot more brain power to generate ideas and write. At the same time, the content is more polished and targeted. One of the tips from Ramit’s blog is that some topics can be picked from reader suggestions and their pain points. Not only does it write more easily, but it also stays relevant. Of course, this only works once readership has been built.

But needless to say, inspiration and ideas are important. How do I come up with the weekly topic? Do I just pluck something random out of the sky?

Sort of. Besides picking my own brain for recent events or experiences, I think about the vastness of life. If my theme is purely serendipity, then anything that coincidentally occurs in my mind qualifies. A sneaky trick, perhaps.

As with any personal blog, the niche is the person. You (or in this case, me). Unlike an objective blog with more mainstream topics, the ideas for my blog have to come from personal opinion and experience. Sometimes, that’s much harder than it sounds because the average person’s life is just that – very average, indeed. The art therein is elevating the ordinary to extraordinary.

Sticking With The Blog

Our good friend named “Consistency” pays us a visit here. There is nothing more important in blogging than to keep writing. Whether it is once a week or once a month, the words need writing. A teacher teaches; a painter paints, a writer writes. I have to write blog posts if I want to have a blog.

Unlike big-name blogs with professional writers and editors, a personal lifestyle blog implies a self-directed approach. Yes, I brainstorm the ideas (or pluck them from the sky). I also do the writing, editing, proofreading, image-sourcing, finalising, posting, web management and design.

No doubt, it is a hefty commitment. But like all skills, there are tricks I learnt along the way to expedite parts of the process. Whenever I travel, do new or interesting things, see something cool, I snap a picture of it with my phone and save it for potential usage in my blog.

There is nothing more tempting than to say “I wish I had a team”. But creatives know that the most original and inspiring ideas come from one genuine thought, from one person. Having a team likely dilutes a pure idea, somewhere along the line from inception to execution. The lustre of a scrappy personal lifestyle blog lies in the ideas being “untarnished” by others. Afterall, too many writers spoil the article.

Are there times I felt like writing this blog is too exhausting? Of course. Have I wanted to give up? Sure. But a part of me wanted to keep doing this. Despite facing “blank-page syndrome” all too often, feeling like my writing is not good enough, struggling to create new ideas, I still like the idea of blogging if for no one except myself.

Catharsis for me, content for you. Win-win, right?

Does Anyone Actually Care?

Short answer – no.

Long answer – no, not yet.

No one builds an audience from scratch in a day with a blog. If we were on Tiktok, there might be a chance for virality.

Being extremely unknown (instead of well-known) confers me some unique benefits. I can write anything I like in any style I want without fear of being “demonetized” or “losing investors”, if for no reason apart from that I do not have any. Freedom is writing yourself onto the page instead of letting someone write you onto the page.

For example, I can include a picture of a duck for fun.

A Duck I Saw in a Pond in China

After posting my first post, absolutely nothing changed. 99% of the outcome that something will happen after hitting “publish” is imaginary. In reality, no one knows. No one cares. And that’s a good thing for us.

You enjoy a freedom that most established writers or platforms no longer have. Of course, writing this blog without an intention to earn staggering revenues grants me the choice of writing in my own style rather than what is “professional”. Being flexible with the writing means finding my voice with no risk. On the contrary, being popular subjects any writing to the scrutiny and approval of the audience, one which can never be pleased entirely.

No one cares until everyone else cares.

What Changed After 1 Year of My Blog?

Ideas have not fallen onto my lap, nor have they been delivered to my doorstep. They continue to remain elusive and original (and sometimes plucked from thin air). But what has become easier is the process of writing. Easier, but nonetheless difficult.

Writing is a skill that forces articulation and expression, the more concise the better. I often remind myself that ideas can be conveyed through words, both included and omitted. Ruthlessly cutting words revealed to me just how extraneous my thoughts can be.

As a skill every writer wishes they were better at, writing is one of those endeavours you do for life. Just like investing, or reading, or…stand-up comedy, it ages and grows with time.

Yet, it never gets old. The words have not changed, neither has the language.

Perhaps, then, it is the writer and reader who have changed.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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August 1, 2026
Must Everything Have Meaning?
Quirkbag Collection #52 – 26.07.26

As children, the system taught us to do everything that teachers and parents say. We played a game designed for us and graduated in the mold of their shaping. Our entire personality or profile is “captured” in no more than 600 words, with several key achievements.

That represents around 12 years of life. Where do we go next?

The system has run out of railroads. We’re left wondering what this all means. Where do we find the meaning in what we do? Is there even a point?

~ The Myth of Time Management ~

Frequent readers may remember that I learned time management to be a myth. We do not control time. We merely have it trickling through our existence. As a scarce resource, or perhaps our only resource, do we optimise every moment and squeeze the very last bit of utility?

Theoretically, it sounds like the most “economic” way to live. Use every second to achieve every bit more output for some goal in the future. Yet, most goals in the future are just goals we set. Most of them are arbitrary and are not what we truly want. Worse still, they are goals we have been pressured to set by our environment.

Surprisingly, there is a unique pain that arises from needing to schedule every second of life. As a student, I used to optimise everything over my final few years. The mindset was to devote every second of time to some form of studying or revision. Every moment planned. Guilt and regret were all that hung in the balance. Any “wasted” time would cause an unspoken misery. Sometimes it still does.

What I thought was a switch that could be turned off was a habit that stuck around subconsciously. I felt compelled to have everything done with “a purpose”. It must count for something.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being unproductive; except my mind cannot stand it. Must there really be some reason or purpose for everything we do in life?

What if we did something just for the fun of it, with a rom-com-like spontaneity? As an end rather than a means to an end? In an Adam Sandler/Jim Carrey-kind of style?

~ Meaning Of Life ~

What if we did things for no material reason?

The easy answer for optimists is “adventure”. Yet on the flip side of this coin, it would be “wasteful”. An adventure is an exploration of the unknown with no guarantee of results. All partakers understand the risk of having no returns, with only the promise of what might be a thrilling and fun process.

Choosing adventure directly gives up the alternate path of certainty – a “waste” in the eyes of some. It is, unsurprisingly, what made me start this blog too.

The meaning of life has no real answer. It is what anyone subjectively decides it to be. And so is the way we spend our time.

Everything need not have meaning. It can, but it does not need to. It becomes easy to get caught up in others’ judgement of our lives, when we are constantly asked to justify our decisions and life choices. We fear the shame of falling short in the eyes of others more than in our own. Perhaps we should remember to give ourselves permission to do things even if they lead to no real “end”.

The greatest shame for those who know, deeply, what they want, is never having tried to pursue that.

~ The Eileen Gu Phenomenon ~

A real conundrum reveals itself when you live with the acceptance of mortality and the need to maximise every moment for your goals. In other words, the conundrum of having everything when they seem mutually exclusive.

How do you peacefully accept that life is finite and that time should be enjoyed when simultaneously, you know that the greatest success only comes with intense effort and time spent?

Enter Eileen Gu, a recent Internet sensation for the latest in human-inspiring achievements. She received attention for having the courage to and also being able to pull off never-before-seen skiing stunts, while also being the most decorated Olympic freestyle skier, fashion model and Ivy-League student.

While the mindset of neuroplasticity is a main takeaway, perhaps we’re missing something else. Genuine intention to life. You cannot be Eileen Gu, much as you cannot be Steve Jobs, because you would be fake. Hard work can be duplicated. Obsession cannot.

To be obsessed is to gladly devote all your time and life to something you genuinely deem worthy. It’s not a trade, like what we do with most tasks. It’s a voluntary gift with no expectation of any returns from life. An exploration is voluntarily going on a journey for its sake, with no promise that any prize be won.

Eileen’s life has meaning to her. She loves skiing, despite the bad days. Swapping lives, you only want the glory without the work. Your lifestyle has become aligned with your “purpose” when you would rather do nothing else and live no other way. Obsession is your life.

~ Drawing The Line In The Sand ~

How do I know if I am lazy or if I just want to live a slow life?

Try this two-part question: “Would you rather do anything else now? Would you regret this trade later on?”

We crave the success depicted in modern media. We want to do great things, have great lives while holding onto our comfortable piece of mediocrity. The tension tears us apart. Our indecision to give up who we are for who we think we want to be, puts us in limbo.

Accepting who we are, where we want to go and the chance of failure is scary and vulnerable. You subtly tell yourself that you might leave potential on the table – you might not empty the tank.

Doing everything in your power, relentlessly, for a goal you deem worthy, regardless of outcome, is immensely excruciating but the surest way to achieve greatness. We torture ourselves to greatness. That is true for all great individuals. A burning obsession to do everything and anything possible toward excellence never fails; with words from Eileen Gu herself.

But even then, that thing must mean something to you.

Greatness is hollow without your sense of fulfilment and personal alignment.

Not everything needs or has meaning. But everything has meaning with true personal alignment.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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July 26, 2026
Why Do I Like Reading?
Quirkbag Collection #51 – 19.07.26

It was June 2024. I was sitting outside the doctor’s consultation room waiting for my turn at the polyclinic. I held in my hand a copy of “Rich Dad Poor Dad” which I had just borrowed 15 minutes earlier.

Out of curiosity, I read the first page. Then the second, and the next one. When it was my turn, I was almost one chapter in.

I caught myself by surprise as I hated reading books. It was a feeling aggravated by the insistence of teachers/educators to read. How could I have read the first few pages of “Rich Dad Poor Dad” without “forcing” myself? And how is it possible that I felt okay reading it?

Until then, every piece of text I read was “forced”. It was torture. I willed myself to read anything and it was ultimately for studying. Leisure reading was a concept far from familiar back then. But that day, I read more and more pages of the book and in a few days, I had finished the iconic book by Robert Kiyosaki.

From then on, I hit the library weekly and read almost one book a week for slightly less than 1 year. I could not believe it.

Starting A New Chapter

So how could I have taken a liking to reading suddenly? Simply put, I found a selfish reason to read.

In the army, I encountered the ideas of investing and personal finance, so I wanted to learn what they were about. Enter “Rich Dad Poor Dad”. Like a door that led me down a long corridor filled with more doors, one book led me to the next. The rest is history. I moved into a new chapter of life where reading is no longer an anathema.

It started because curiosity about one out-of-school-syllabus topic in the right environment led me to lightly pursue it. Then I fell into the rabbit hole of reading.

But it was not always like this, and so it could not have happened earlier.

In all my student life, I hated reading, and any piece of text longer than one paragraph, because I had to spend effort reading. No article or passage was interesting because everything had to serve a purpose: help me study (mostly GP in particular).

I was not interested at all, had no desire or curiosity because I hated the idea of reading. I hated having to understand what some obscure author had to say about some issue I cannot be bothered to discuss.

“Why do I care what they think when I have a 2-hour exam to take?”

I had all the wrong reasons to read, and none to continue reading.

Purpose Matters

All this to say, purpose matters when it comes to reading. It cannot be forced for the sake of it no matter how well-intentioned we are. Purpose matters when reading, especially to those growing up without an interest in books. Push (“push” might mean “force”) them into reading and, like me, they might just hate it altogether at the end.

Growing up, the habit of reading was nurtured by nagging some variation of “read the news”. Of course, teachers used encouraging tones but any 12 year-old fed up with “reading” (like me) would describe it that way.

I mean, the best some kid could do was maybe Harry Potter or Percy Jackson. Not even that interested me then. And still, sometimes you could feel parents’ minor dissatisfaction because they should “be informed of the news”. Just look around today, how many (young) adults really read the news (and no, that 30s clip on Tiktok does not count)?

Regardless of how well-intentioned we are, we never think in the shoes of the kid/student. We always think in our own perspectives. Why should they feel differently than we did at the same age?

So I like to think that the adage “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink” applies to reading. You really can’t force a child/student to read without some unintended but well-deserved “horsekick to the chest”.

Suppose they did read, they probably would not enjoy reading nor would they do so for its intrinsic value. So really, was it successful?

A Sight-Seeing Voyage From Your Comfort Zone

What of its intrinsic value then? Surely reading is beneficial to all of us and we should all want to read. Indeed it is, but only when we do it for the right reason. Dare I say, there is only one right reason – because we want to.

Ever since I read one book a week, I have seen (fractions of) the world all from the comfort of my chair/bed. From personal finance, productivity, lifestyle to psychology, philosophy and business, the books gave me a taste of it all and how big the world really is.

There are more books than one can ever finish reading. Similarly, there are more experiences in life than one can actually have. So if reading is like sitting in a train on an endless sight-seeing voyage, you, the reader/traveller, can choose what you want to see for as long as you want.

If Only Reading Could Bring Such Scenery Before My Eyes

A Glimpse Of Time Travel

The benefits of reading are well established. But less so the experience of it.

I continued my sight-seeing voyage with books after “Rich Dad Poor Dad” because the sheer possibilities offered by books was almost too good to pass on. It was the compiled learning, experience, insights and feelings of people who have dabbled in their field, all given away for free in the library.

It was a revelation of how little I knew and how little I learnt from school. There was so much else to learn and from it live a better life.

When I read “The Intelligent Investor”, it was like talking with the dead. This was brought more to an extreme when I read about Seneca, Aristotle and Lincoln through “Courage is Calling” and “Reasons Not To Worry” on stoic virtues. Through the book, I lived their lifetimes and learning their lessons gives your worldview a little more objectivity, if not wisdom. Both are hard-won.

Exploring the ideas of the past and taking a journey through time feel like suspending reality. Shrinking whatever trivial, modern problems at hand (like laggy internet connection), this reframe imbues a sense of serenity, even if for a moment.

Reading has felt validating and assuring. “Four Thousand Weeks” and “Time Anxiety” help make sense of time and our existence, and our cosmic irrelevance. With newfound knowledge comes the confidence and peace which helps you better understand your life, and how to best live it.

The View Is Better After The Climb Up

Above all, as their private audience of one, books give us the self-assurance and growing peace that comes with knowledge.

The Reading Habit, Literally

Reading is quite a personal activity. It’s a performance with an audience of one – you, the reader. Like any work of art, the measure of its value is subjective and arbitrary, relevant only to you, the reader.

But yet, reading has seemed to become a means of condescension in modern society because it can be an indicator for “sophistication” or “education”. It’s tragic that what could be the legacy of previous generations written to better humanity becomes degraded.

Deciding how you read is also hugely satisfying. You can be someone who reads one book for 3 months, slowly savouring each page every night. You can also be the impatient reader who skips to the last chapter with zero context because “it’s all the same anyways”. Neither is wrong, neither is better.

Reading is but another tool to explore our world and through it better understand who we are. It is a simple luxury afforded by those who have the intrinsic curiosity to learn beyond their space and time.

But of course, you don’t need it to live a good life.

Books merely connect the reader with the writer, and the rest is an experience for the reader. In words better than my own, Emerson wrote:

“If we are related, we shall meet.”

Then through these words, we have met.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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July 19, 2026
Comparison Is Too Much
Quirkbag Collection #50 – 12.07.26

Are we really ourselves or just what people make us to be? A product of modern consumerism and media, with a tad of envy from comparison.

There seems to be so much more comparison now that we chase this alternate version of ourselves just to “keep up with the times”. Worse still, comparison drives us to create this version of ourselves which we may not even want.

If you do not juggle 3 projects at work, sleeping 7 hours, walking 10K steps, meditating, spending weekends with friends and family all while working on self-improvement, you are somehow “less”. Or at least it feels that way when you see someone doing just that. And so we do more…just to say we did more…

But why? Is less not more?

Modern Comparison Culture

There used to be a time when comparison was simply finding the farmer who harvested more carrots. Then came several industrial revolutions and today we’re comparing influence through an arbitrary digital number on a screen on social media. God forbid that number is zero, or non-existent, and you’ll get mocked for it.

We’re constantly compared to others whether in absolute or relative terms that we forget who we really are. Whether it is school admissions, project recruitments, job interviews, people love to compare us to the next person. But they compare the glossy, shiny part that we create to show others – the cool stuff.

Where did the normal, not-so-cool but human part of us go?

Somewhere along the line, we started chasing this phantom version of ourselves that represents what society and the world thinks we should be. Yet it is only reasonable that we adopted this shift because that’s how we get by now.

We have to be more something than the next guy.

To do more is to have more impact. To do more is to be better. Or is it?

Escaping Comparison Means Deviation

Much like having clarity on your life’s purpose, there is great comfort and peace in knowing who we are and who we want to be. The new crease is that it may come at the price of being different. Society has a fickle stance on those who are different.

It’s incredible how we judge the extent of ‘different’ today. If you’re different because you become an entrepreneur who builds a modern rooftop farm growing carrots in Singapore, society slaps a ‘well done’ on your back. But if you’re choosing to grow carrots along the countryside instead of a cushy but somewhat boring corporate job in the city, people raise their eyebrows.

You almost have to be the “right kind” of different.

The false belief that there’s a link between doing more and being more is a subtle but poisonous one. To be the ‘role model’ or ‘success standard’, modern society links volume with ability, ability with identity. The succinct new word for it is ‘brand’. That’s how young people are being judged today.

The question society implicitly asks is “What’s your personal ‘brand’?”

Yet, it feels like the real question is “How much more and better are you doing than the next guy?”

The answer had better be more than growing carrots.

What About A Personal Brand?

Now of course, there’s more to us and our lives than a ‘brand’. We know that because this concept did not used to exist. It’s not practical to always show or build this brand in everything we do. We’re flawed humans trying to be a polished pearl, and we judge one another based on who gets the closest. It’s borderline sad to think how we have brought it to an extreme.

Worse still, we’re not even always doing it for the right reasons.

Do we really need so many “followers” online?

Our lives did not used to include living vicariously through others apart from the occasional rumour or story. Today, it’s mildly tragic that we invented ‘screen time’ and actively use it to determine how much of our lives we’re actually living.

To escape this self-made comparison trap, where the more we do the more we compare with others, we have to choose to do less to be more. Afterall, no one can do everything.

But perhaps we’re confusing this public version of ourselves with who we really are. We’re so caught up with building this supposedly important public image and ‘brand’ that we forget our private self. And before we know it, we no longer know who we are at our core and who we want to be.

All we remember is to compare with others and see if we’re doing enough to remain “validated” by others. Gone is the clarity we need to find our own purpose and identity.

More Is Not More; Less Is Still More

With modern digitalisation being increasingly pervasive, there’s a premium for privacy (or as I like to call it – analog) and solitude these days. And perhaps these are the very things we need most to remember who we truly are instead of what we try to make ourselves to be.

Doing more for the sake of it is a surefire way to create burnout, pressure, more comparison and meaningless work. Doing less is also guaranteed to cause feelings of inferiority, more comparison and a sense of falling behind. What then?

Most comparisons are made to gain self-assurance; to feel “normal within the group”.

But more is not more. Less is still more, just as any minimalist would say. But only if you pick the right few things for yourselves. Therein lies the real test of whether you know who you are, and who you want to be.

So, are you doing more or are you being more?

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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July 12, 2026
Are You Stuck In The Confidence Trap?

Quirkbag Collection #49 – 21.06.26

Confidence is attractive. But it is also a trap. Like most people, I wish to have more confidence. It is one of those rare traits that exude charisma and trustworthiness. It’s a characteristic that resembles a pillar of strength, a sign of possible leadership.

But more than ever, studying confidence as a concept has left us waiting for it to happen. It’s as though examining confidence in modern society has led to a further lack of it. Sadly, confidence does not just appear. Waiting certainly does not create it.

Why Don’t We Have Confidence?

We’re too afraid. With social media’s extensive coverage and how we have become more cynical, I think more of us are afraid to be vulnerable. We just want to be “right”, we want to feel “validated”, but most of us don’t want to truly stand for something ourselves, not when it might mean being alone.

We don’t have the confidence to be who we are in front of others, let alone the public, because we know there is a more than likely chance of criticism. Instead, we would rather the comfort of the herd than the confidence in solitude.

In other words, we care too much about how others perceive us that we would put up a facade for others. The wiser ones choose not to even portray themselves – they just live privately.

But confidence can still exist privately, right?

Perhaps. But do we have real confidence in our beliefs? Too much and you might be stubborn and conceited. Too little and you can be a pushover. So where does the line get drawn?

Well, when in doubt, look to the philosophers right?

Aristotle had a quote:

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

It seems a good enough guide that our confidence is towed by the ability to consider and play with other ideas without needing to change our stance. Conceited and close-minded people would never strike you as confident – you’ve probably met them. They are usually defensive. Being confident then comes from your deeper understanding of why something is true or relevant.

What Is True Confidence? Do I Have It?

People follow and respect confidence. We all would choose it if given that choice. Mainstream self-help preaches the “fix your mindset”, “do daily affirmations” and the “fake it till you make it” stuff.

But what does it take? Can we really fake it until we make it?

I don’t think so.

Firstly, no one really wants a leader with “fake confidence”. Authenticity beats appearance. I think most people want a genuine person that will become truly confident rather than one who pretends. Real confidence inspires. Fake confidence is off-putting and irksome. Real confidence is assurance. Fake confidence is ignorance.

You can easily tell real from fake based on the tone and behaviour of a person. Real confidence is powerful on its own – there is a sense of humility and kindness behind it. The fake one is fragile – there is always a need to keep up the appearance, to ensure the image is maintained. Most likely, someone’s ego is tied to their fake confidence.

When you go about your day, run this mental exercise, ask: “Where am I going, to do what?” If you can answer with certainty, you are answering with confidence. And that is the first step to knowing how true confidence feels like. I think it’s just a matter of scaling from there to other skills, knowledge, presentations and more.

There is a peace of mind attached to quiet confidence – almost to the extent of nonchalance – which helps a person navigate situations. With experience, the confidence comes as second nature because the actions to be taken are clear. You are able to guide others based on your experience. Knowing what to do is a solid first step.

Where Does Confidence Come From?

Confidence comes after trying and failing. After a ridiculous number of attempts, you know you have the abilities and skills to overcome hardship. But at the start, we have to do it scared, do it alone, do it wrongly. You don’t need confidence to start anything. The scariest part is doing all the things you have never done and failing all of them.

With enough experience, your actions and responses become second nature. It feels smooth and instinctive.

In sales, the only thing that cannot be accelerated is experience. Putting in the repetitions is the biggest factor for consistent success. Top performers always knew what to say, how to say it and when to walk away. But not me. And yes, a long time ago, they were novices like me too. Over time, their experience has given them pattern recognition skills and refined their techniques.

Confidence can be spread temporarily. Being around confident people can subtly boost your own confidence. When you’re in a winning team, you feel strong and invincible even when you may not be the main contributor. When you’re around the people whom you trust, you have confidence in their abilities.

While others can imbue confidence in you, that feeling tends to fade quickly. Without your firm self-belief, confidence is ephemeral. Some confidence than none, but true confidence comes with time, from the internalised lessons of experience.

That is when confidence is yours to have.

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Hi! I’m Zac, the guy behind this serendipitous, quirky blog. I’m currently on a quest to find out more about myself before Uni begins – who I am and what life has to offer. This blog is my little space where I step out of my comfort zone to share my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy reading the weekly posts. Share them if you like, or not.

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June 21, 2026

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